I started this blog as a way to document my life, and because I used to think blogs were dorky, until I realized even cool people had blogs. We're way past that stage of blogs seeming dorky now, at least to anybody who is even the slightest bit into technology and using it to their advantage, but I still keep my blog anonymous from people I only know outside my blog to keep my writing flowing.
Now that the economy has crashed in Santa Cruz we debate moving back more often than I'd like to admit. The thing that holds us back is the great environment to raise a family here in Austin. My heart aches for my children to live near my parents, though.
I have spent the last five years embracing my girlie side - learning how to become and still be a girl amongst my boys, meeting girlfriends, going out and partying, living the life, and I LOVEd it. In the past few months a few things have happened to coincide that have refocused my personal goals to my family and building a business together. One was a comment my friend made when she was about to make the decision to move to her hometown with a boy she met and fell in love with -- she said, "I don't have anything holding me back. I mean, I have you guys, my girlfriends, but you're not the one I am going to go home to at night." I realized right then that she was right. I don't go home to my girlfriends at night. I go home to Brando and my boys, and that is worth my every focus of my energy. I'm not saying I won't have bumps in the road figuring this out. I am fiercely protective of my independency, but I am saying I want the majority of my energy and focus to be on those I come home to at night. And as far as my independency, I love a quote I heard just recently, Women have been waiting for men to give them the power all along. They don't need to wait for men to give them the power, they just need to take it. I wish I could remember the exact quote. Regardless, it is powerful to me.
In the meantime, I am also focusing on staying positive. I am a very positive person, but that becomes a little bit more difficult when I have three depending on me for their livelihood. So I am voraciously reading to keep myself positive, loving life like I do, and finding new adventures to go on like I have a passion to.