The reasons I've been away are many and yet I don't really know if there is any reason at all.
I've been sick, yes, and s-l-o-w-l-y recovering. After a week of off and on and a word of advice from my oldest sister, the one who lives in Texas. I finally forced myself to take it easy and stopped rearranging my room and cleaning everything in sight just because I was home.
My 5 year old, soon to be 6 year old (Monday!), said to me after I asked him if he would want me to be gone all day and not be able to be with him all the time, "You're not with me all the time You're on the computer all day". Needless to say, the computer hasn't been touched since. I asked him if he noticed the next day and he says, yes only because Daddy took the computer. I was rescued in that Daddy had not in fact taken the computer and it was sitting right there, albeit closed and off the desk. Since then my living area has been completely rearranged to a much calmer space with the desk removed and my closet turned into an office with the door being replaced with a sheer curtain.
I've also had somewhat of a breakdown - not technically, but sobbing for an hour on the phone to my oldest sister, releasing all the pentup stress and worries of being here and not being home. There are a million good things I could mention but somehow things always seem to ccome at a price and this price is too high to pay. We'll be home soon, God willing.
I wish I had something more to offer than cold turkey - maybe some cranberry sauce with that? but I don't. I'm not really sure where things stand right now or where they will. You guys are in my thoughts and prayers either way - each one of you. I appreciate your love and prayers and thoughts as well.