Thursday, April 23, 2009

Girlfriends or Blogging?

I've been thinking about girlfriends and blogging and how they come into play in life since last night. GFF's last answer on her interview with Kati spurred me to write about it where she talked about having good girlfriends keeps you from needing counseling (although I don't completely agree, I do feel girlfriends are the life line to maintenance and living a wonderful life, but professional counseling takes into account your history and the psychological reasons behind what may be preventing you from making better decisions regarding life, and believing in yourself, and help you to make those decisions which can help you live a more productive and satisfying life. At least it did for me and will again when I go back!) spurred me to write about it.

The past several years have been overwhelmed by girlfriend time. Especially the last few months. Four or five nights a week I have been out with my girls and LOVING it. However, when I went to Hawaii, it put in perspective for me how much I LOVE being with my husband. It also put in perspective how much I love down time, and enjoying the beauty around me alone. When I came home I determined to only go out twice a week, and leave the weekends, Friday thru Sunday, open for anything. That leaves me at least one night a week at home, and usually Brando and I have a date on the other night. Monday and Thursdays are my girl nights now. Mondays because they just are. Everybody needs a Monday night girls' night in my opinion. And Thursdays because all three boys go to cub scouts so it's play time for me any way.

I noticed since I have been hanging out with my girls less I have been blogging more, and sharing more with my friends on here. Craving the space of sharing with girlfriends on here since I'm not getting it elsewhere right now helped me realize me why I turned to blogging in the first place, maybe why a lot of us turned to blogging in the first place. I had no girlfriends at that point. Okay, I lie. I had girlfriends but not kindred spirits as Anne of Green Gables called it. When I started I had no idea I would find such kindred spirits. All I was looking for was a place to empty my soul, and talk about whatever was on my mind. A place to empty the words in my brain. And through it, I found so many kindred spirits. When I moved to California, blogging helped fill the void of time between leaving old friends and making new. When I moved back to Texas, blogging took me through a very sad and lonely time of leaving kindred spirits behind in California and reaching out to find new ones, which fortunately happened much sooner than it did in Cali. Maybe I had more practice, or maybe there's more kindred spirits in Austin, either way blogging filled the void and even gave me the opportunity to meet some of my very first kindred spirits here in Texas (that would be you, Allison, and Laura, and has gone on to include Hannah and Tina, not to mention the ones I have met while visitng my home state and other states and hopefully more to come in my state, other states, even other countries!). It gave me that outlet to share my soul even though I didn't live near my girls at the time.

Now that I am limiting my own time going out, I have found a safe haven back in the blog world. A place where somebody cares enough to hear me (hopefully, as I always hope my girlfriends do!), but matches the time frame that I need. Even though I'm wanting to spend more time at home I sure as hell still need my girl time conversations, outlets, and two way streets with sharing and venting to stay sane. I don't know if it's always the case to have one or the other, but that's the way it seems to work best for me. Or at least I have to have a little balance - I can't go all out in my social going out life and all out in blogging. Either it's a little in each, or a lot in one. Right now it's balanced and I'm loving it! What about you? Do you need to have balance or can you go all out in both? Does blogging fill a void for you too, voluntarily or involuntarily (moving locations, friends moving away, needing to find new inspiration, etc), in your life?


allimarie said...

I think its all a balance. All are necessary. Girlfriends. Blogging. Therapists. Each has its own purpose.

See you a week from today!!


girl from florida said...

I agree with Allison... you need a balance of six things.. God/spiritual fulfillment, alone time, girlfriends, therapy, blogging, and husband time! I have always joked about the girlfriend/therapy thing, but it's still just a joke, and therapy allows a professional to give you feedback while examining your emotions non-objectively and without personal emotions.

I've been reading your blog for so long and I've been amazed at how much you've grown and all you've been through. You have really become an amazing woman, mama, friend, wife... you truly have it all girl!! You rock.

girl from florida said...

PS. Did I ever email you back about school? I can't remember if I did now! I know I thought about the answer but can't remember if I actually typed it out and sent it. Eeee

villagegirl said...

It is so much about balance! And I think sometimes we forget that even too much of a good thing isn't always good! But each thing in itself is important to your life too. It's tricky, this life business. :)


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