Growing up around me

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. Sometimes I feel like I am living life day by day, trying to survive. We're doing the right thing with finances, but sometimes I wonder why we didn't buy that house down south. I've always lived on the edge - of everything. Now it feels like we're starting to get a handle on things. We're going to counseling, we've paid down a large amount of debt, we're moving into a place where we'll actually have a decent rent to income ratio, Justinbustin is going to a FREE school, Shawners is going into first grade, and I feel almost uncomfortable, like putting on a dress I could never afford to buy. It fits me, it looks great, but I sure as heck won't be walking out the door with it. In a sense not buying the house down south last year has me feeling like I'll never walk out the door with that dress. It feels like the families we know are growing up around us - getting to know their neighborhood around them, taking summer vacations, on the boat, to another state, even just to the beach - and here we are. Home. Struggling to even keep a roof over our heads and food on our plates.