Terrified

I feel like a frog in boiling water, it's soooo comfortable in here but I KNOW I need to go. I'm just scared of what's outside the pot. A new job, possibly twelve hour a day shifts for BOTH of us, a new place and an apartment no less, a new town, new friends. Hell why not just a new life? Oh yeah that's kind of what it is huh?

I feel like I'm dropping all the balls here, and I don't want to, but at the same time I know I need to because I know there's one ball I need to hold up - getting back to getting that new life started. Sometimes I wonder is this the smartest thing and then I convince myself, yes you KNOW it is, it's just terrifying at the same time. I will miss SO much my kids being able to see their grandparents at the drop of a hat. Even when that hat is caught midway and both Oma and I are waiting for the other to call to confirm a kids night sleepover. Even when my parents are running in and out the door so much that my kiddos actually end up spending more time with them when they come out for visits when we live 2000 miles away than when we live WITH them.

We also made our reservations on American last night for the boys and I to fly and I admit it. I am TERRIFIED of flying. I've never really said that before but I am. Especially on American after 9/11 and because they are very unfriendly to kiddos, unless you're lucky. I'm already doing birthing breathing through take off and landing.

Trivial

It's 1am again and here I am. Funny how staying up late once so easily starts a pattern. No matter, I have the time and the thought to blog and so I am.

So. very. much. happening. I am in the middle of packing - thank God for forums where people are motivating because the majority of it is sailing right along. One of the hardest parts will be packing up the last bits and pieces, the things we use everyday, but at least all this other stuff will be taken care of so I'll actually have the energy to handle that.

Remember when we first got here and I was so very anxious about finding Big Guy a 'nice lady'? I finally found one. Right before we're moving. These people, they are a husband and wife team, are absolutely amazing. And the only reason I can search my soul and come up with that I didn't find them earlier is that I think I would have had a VERY hard time leaving here had we started anything with them, and God knows where He wants me. These people are amazing. Oh did I already say that? We did an intake on Thursday, for me it was a matter of seeing if he should be seeing someone this last month while we are here, as well as getting another resource, someone else to bounce off. Their learning center had been recommended to me by a mother of a kid with similar difficulties as Justin, and I am so grateful she did. We went in and immediately the guy started playing Legos with BG - if anybody knows how to get him to warm up, that's it. The wife and I sat and discussed things for 15 or so minutes while her husband played and got familar with Justin. Then they switched playing with him and the husband talked to me. Apparently he has/had dyslexia and is brilliant, as people with speech or otherwise difficulties often are. The information he gave me was so much and so overwhelming, every word he said contained a world of information. And this is not easy to do to me, normally I am one step ahead of whatever somebody is discussing with me about my son. I know him. Better than anyone else. Except maybe these people. Okay haha I still know him better, but I could not believe how exactly. the. same. page. these people were on with what my feelings and thoughts for him are. They were in total awe and praise of his speech lady in Texas, which was sooo nice, compared to the other people BG has been going to this whole year saying oh well she didn't really do an eval, EXCUSE me?! She did what worked. *climbing off soapbox before I regress* They said she was doing exactly what he needed and there is no need for him to have to go through the trouble of warming up to them and getting used to someone new when he is going back to her in a month. Thanks for not wanting to take every penny out of me!!! Against my own want of wanting to have him have every opportunity possible I did not schedule another meeting, due to them thinking it would be too much on him, as well as my hubby saying the exact same thing the night before. Thing is he's already asking to go back!! To the 'Lego guy'. And you know what? That $110 for the intake I'd pay again in a heartbeat just for my hubby to hear what they had to say. And the best part? They practically required me to stay in touch, call if I had any questions, let them know how he is doing. Two of their long time students, now happy adults, were by for a visit in the time period that I was there. One of them put his arms around both of their shoulders as he left and said, "I love these guys. They are the best, they have the kindest hearts." The wife said they never leave, they always come back - they become a part of the family.

You have a child who can't speak, I guarantee you he will be speaking, confident, shining, and radiant within one year of being there. Depending on his legibility 50% legible by year one, and 90% by year 3, if not 99%. Okay most of that was an email I need to write to a friend here who is struggling with being able to understand her child. You know who you are if you are reading this : ) ! Yes, I actually told someone in 'real life' about my blog. And if none of it makes sense I apologize, as I told my hubby I'm just so excited about how wonderful these people are it's hard to get out a legible sentence as to why.

This weekend we are spending in Monterey at a hotel with Hubby's Dad and wife, brother and family. A mini family vacation of sorts. Should be interesting. All while Hubby has an appt. over the hill tomorrow, and I'll be fielding calls for Katrina and Rita evacuees as well as Katrina refugees (it's heartbreaking what's happening there, and it's all in my hometown), and on Sunday my nephew's birthday party that we more than likely will have to miss. I thought it was going to be tomorrow and planned for that but it changed to Sunday and so we're out of luck. Shoot. I still need to get him a birthday present.

I started my own homeschool group the other day where we are moving online and there are already nineteen members! I can't believe it, but I am so excited for the support when I get there. I just pray that everything melds smoothly. They've already gotten together for one playdate and have plans for a second. Hopefully things will be running smoothly by the time I get there and then I can plan my pool party, we're going to have an amazing pool where we'll be at, and girls nights outs - I miss those!

Well I have tons of gorgeous pictures to post but haven't taken the time to get them off the camera for the last week. That and once I do they go to a separate hard drive which I need to figure out how to hook up to the computer so I can get them online. Hope you all have a FANTASTIC weekend! Please say a prayer tonight for all those dislocated and in Rita's way.

Argh

I am so SICK of these spam comments!!! I just realized I have a bunch on my site that I haven't even got emails for because gmail filters some of them and sends some emails to the spam folder before I even see them. So I'm hoping I deleted them all but who knows. What is with them commenting on old posts?! Any way does anybody have any suggestions as to how to bar them on WordPress? I'd be most grateful.

On another note lots of good things have been happening! I really need to be in the mindframe to sit and write about them but they're spinning in my head. My thoughts are with all those in Texas right now and praying their lives and their homes are safe.

Update: It's 1am and I'm still up!! That's what I get for drinking iced black tea at Kianit's, at 8pm no less. My kid has a field trip tomorrow, I didn't post any sort of an update, and I'm going to be exhausted in the morning! I'm going to bed. Right after I find that paper on the field trip tomorrow.

Penguins and Little Guys

Commenting over at Hannah's made me think of this. Little Guy and Big Guy went to watch March of the Penguins with their Grandma and Grandpa and LG hasn't stopped talking about it since. He says, "The penguin baby comes out of their tummy and their tummy goes down to the bottom of their legs like that [and he moves his hand down to the bottom of his legs to show me] and the babies come out of their tummies." Just like that. And he says it just about every time we see a penguin picture.

Ahahahahaha

What's that saying muwhahahahaha. Okay don't know if I spelled it right but you get the point. I have added, or invited for those of you that didn't have accounts, all of you that I have emails for to my personal Flickr account as family/friends so you can enjoy the pictures of my family and boys that I put up without having to put them on here! Yahooo. It's my compromise between wanting to keep this blog public and wanting to post pictures. By the way my email address is STILL my gmail address, I just use the yahoo address for junk mail. So... if you email me there I may not get it.

Off to enjoy the weekend!!!

PS We're going back to Texas in the next few months! Yipppeeeeeeee!!

A Weekend in Pictures

A weekend on the beach in the sun, sand, and surf on the Capitola Beach with their favorite festival of the year going on. Who could ask for a better weekend?

Saturday, at the Capitola Sandcastle Contest

A few of the creations




The Grand Prize


Sunday, at the Capitola Begonia Festival

Our View from where we sat








Where we sat


Some of the floats

So Many

So many thoughts are running through my head. How many posts do I have that start out that way? Oh well.

Last night Hubby and I had an amazing date. Wonderful, fun, cultured, and sweet. We restaurant-hopped from Soif, to the El Palomar Taco Bar, to Cafe Limelight. We started out with Roasted Baby Beet Salad with Chevril, Fried Eggplant with Manchego Cheese, Figs wrapped in Pancetta, and a Lemonade Cooler at Soif. Feeling satisfactorily unstarving we moved on to the main course of a shared chicken quesadilla with pico de gallo, guacomole, and sour cream, at the El Palomar Taco Bar. Not to be without the wining and dining, I also enjoyed a margarita on the rocks, extra salt. After a short walk to the end of downtown we stopped at our favorite recent discovery, Cafe Limelight, for a cheese plate with Brie, Gouda, and Manchego. A Hefeweizen for Hubby and finished it all off with a root beer float for me, and a New York Cheesecake for him. Not once did the conversation stop, it flowed from restaurant to restaurant, with a small amount of open air in between. It was a romantic, peaceful, and delightful evening. I told Hubby this is what they are doing in the big cities downtowns, going from restaurant to restaurant for small appetizers, just to get a flavor of everything. Some restaurants are even catering to it, such as Soif, by offering small plates, separate from the appetizers and main courses. After just doing Santa Cruz's small but charming downtown I can tell you it was a delight and something to be savored and done again and again.

This morning Big Guy and I built a log ride (click around for some more fun pictures on that page) out of Duplo Legos this morning. It was a brainstorm of genuis and creativity mostly on his part. I supplied the concept of the conveyor built to get the log (a BG made raft out of castle pieces) up the ramp and he came up with the ideas for the rest. Five or six changes later we came up with a very satisfactory version of the Log Ride at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. The only thing that would have made it better was water for it to splash into and we'll work on that tomorrow.

On the other hand all these happy thoughts and we see New Orleans on the news last night. People wading in three of four feet of filthy water. People trapped literally in the rooftops of their house. People floating in water, waving to the news cameras, signaling for help. Children and babies. My prayers and my heart goes out to them. How sad and how horrible that such a thing could happen.