Confidence

I have not been on here much lately. Mostly due to the fact my life is completely up in the air right now as far as housing and transportation. The only thing that seems to be steady, at least for the next nine months, is the nannying I am doing.   Speaking of nannying and confidence, this baby girl was a FUSSY baby before I came along. The woman that recommended me to her mom sent me with high recommendations that I could help her out on as an experienced mom to a first time mom. As well as help her get the baby who wasn't sleeping well thru the night or taking regular naps on a sleep schedule, which I did right away. Now she's a happy, content baby who sleeps on a regular schedule of two two hour or so naps a day, sleeps thru the night, will let whomever hold her after the day she met me, and  So when she's started to get fussy the last few days with me I've been freaking out. Ol' paranoia of not good enough kicks in.   This morning I got here and her Mom had just put her down for a nap. She woke up half an hour later, fussy as all get out, threw up a pile of wretched smelling baby spitup that made my gag reflex kick in, and continued to be fussy. So I tried to put her back to sleep because there's no way I'm dealing with a fussy baby until her mom comes back to feed her in a few hours especially when she usually sleeps for a good solid few hours in the morning. No luck.   Then I feed her, thinking she probably has an empty stomach with all that spit up. Good to go there, but she was still fussy so I tried putting her back to sleep. As she fought sleep I start to freak out that I've lost my 'touch'. Hello, four weeks and I've lost it? I don't think so. Really my touch is getting babies to sleep. That's always been my touch. Hell, I know how cranky I AM when I don't get sleep, doesn't it stand to reason that a baby who doesn't know what the heck is going on in their sleepy little heads going to be that much crankier?!   So I tell myself I can do this, and I run my hand over her forehead, gently down her nose to close her already sleepy eyes. I sway from side to side, and in circles to keep myself occupied. After fighting it for a few minutes, she is out like a light. I still have it and I'm hanging onto it, damn it. Need a baby nanny any one?   PS I apologize for turning this into a baby blog even though I don't technically have one. It brings up so many good memories for me, and a lot of memories that remind me why I don't have one right now. I love watching somebody elses baby grow up on a daily basis and getting to learn from it from the vantage point of being able to leave her with her mom and say see ya! after I'm done for the day.