Why Do You Read Blogs?

I read blogs to connect. To feel I'm normal. To know that what I'm going through, somebody else has already gone through or is going through it, and they are okay. And I will be, too.

Just this morning I came across this post from Young House Love about their parents selling their childhood home and downsizing. Albeit, in this case, they are downsizing a lot closer to where their children and grandchildren are, but still. Their childhood home is going away.

This morning I was in tears and vented to Brando (poor guy) about how it just hit me that his mother is selling his childhood home. The one the boys and I have grown to love the last ten years. The one we've visited and stayed in every time we go to California. The one with the beautiful guest room we give a little happy sigh to be in every time we plop our suitcases on the floor and fall down on the down-comforter covered bed in happy relief to be away from the stress of real life.

The one where the boys have only this last trip or two discovered the secluded little hill and and trees tucked in between a few houses next to hers and the campus of UCSC where Brando and his brother used to play and climb and now beg to go there each time we visit. The one where I look around at all the happy memories and happy collectibles some might call clutter but are so lovingly placed and dust free (HOW does she do it?!) that it couldn't pass as clutter if it tried.

She's packing all those things up in boxes and getting them ready for an estate sale, minus anything we would like. I'm making a list of things that are the most special that I would love to have in my house to look at and smile every day - like the paintings she bought in Sundance when I first met Brando and she had taken Justinbustin and I to Utah with them for Thanksgiving at her sisters, and the painting that has XOXO and a rose on it that she commissioned Brando's good friend and Shawner's namesake to paint for her. I'm so visual I wish I had taken pictures of her home before she packed it all up. Perhaps I can scrounge up a mish-mash from photos of the boys taken in the home, and be content with the happy, happy memories there in the meantime.

My heart is breaking a little to know that this place of comfort won't be there any longer. But I realize she will make wherever she is home, and wherever she is we will have a place to stay. I wish I could say she was coming here to our city, but it looks like she will be moving closer to Aptos, the place I grew up in.

Reading Young House Love's post put it all in perspective again, and reminded me, like I had already realized but am having trouble remembering as it's happening, that all parents downsize when their children grow up and leave the home whether they are in an ugly situation (hers is) or not. I'm not alone in dealing with this situation. It's easier for me to see that they will be okay, and as I realize they will be okay, I realize I will be okay, too.

Tell me, why do you read blogs?

Romantic Update

Been having an AMAZING trip thus far. Got massages yesterday - not because I needed one but because Brando did after snowboarding. She worked really, really hard on one knot and worked me over pretty good all over. I walked away sore and now, I've been up and in pain since 3am - catching up on the Bachelor while I'm at it harhar. ARGH. I am hoping I recover tomorrow because we still have so MUCH to do these next few days and they're the days Brando and I have alone - our time alone started on Thursday and it's only Friday! If not, it's been an amazing trip already and I hope I can be content with that.

PS We went ATV riding and drove in our car on the BEACH today. Seriously, I should be SO happy with that if that's all I get to do, right?!!

A broken economy

makes for very last minute Christmas shopping. KT and I did our mall thing Monday, but didn't come up with much. Yesterday Li and I made round two. First stop at Walmart, second stop at the mall where I FINALLY found Brando something and Li helped me put the finishing touch on it. Yay! The boys played their DSs again, and didn't say a peep. Afterwards we stopped by Chilis for afternoon margaritas, southwestern egg rolls, spinach dip, and buffalo chicken. Mmmm.

Last night I started some of the grocery shopping for tomorrow's meal, and Justinbustin did his Christmas shopping with Daddy.

WARNING!! This next part gets deep!!

I also heard the news last night that my BFF is getting a divorce. Her husband moved out a week ago. They have been working alternate schedules for the last year and a friend of hers has been coming over and helping out with the kids while she is working. It got to be a little more than helping out, and now they are done.

My heart breaks and I am so very, very humbled thinking about how I have been stressing over gifts here and gifts there when the very most precious thing to me is that Brando and I are together and on speaking terms this Christmas. More than that. We haven't spoken about money lately so we are on pretty darn good terms. Not that we don't need to speak of money and won't, but not speaking of it allows us a breather amidst the stress. Then we have to take in a big gulp of air again because we'll realize while we thought we were breathing, we were actually just holding our breaths.

My heart is so broken right now for my good friend. She is not on good terms with her mother and sister either, and it sounds like she will spend Christmas alone. I am so very grateful for my family right now, and wish her the deepest peace in her heart over any gift this Christmas.

So. Freakin' Sick.

All of us, except for Justinbustin now. Ugh. My face feels like a cotton ball dipped in hot liquid. No thanks to you guys scaring me off the colloidal... haha, well I'm gargling it less now any way and not swallowing. Wow, I can manage to make a post sound dirty quick. Ew. Back to sickness. No wait, please, please go away sickness!! You are obviously messing with my mind!! Not to mention my emotional health in that I am wanting to lay down and cry for hours because we won't be able to go on our trip this weekend (to my Dad's annual client appreciation dinner in Cali). @#$&*! At least we're going in March for spring break for an extended period. I think we'll quarantine ourselves for a week before then.