I read blogs to connect. To feel I'm normal. To know that what I'm going through, somebody else has already gone through or is going through it, and they are okay. And I will be, too.
Just this morning I came across this post from Young House Love about their parents selling their childhood home and downsizing. Albeit, in this case, they are downsizing a lot closer to where their children and grandchildren are, but still. Their childhood home is going away.
This morning I was in tears and vented to Brando (poor guy) about how it just hit me that his mother is selling his childhood home. The one the boys and I have grown to love the last ten years. The one we've visited and stayed in every time we go to California. The one with the beautiful guest room we give a little happy sigh to be in every time we plop our suitcases on the floor and fall down on the down-comforter covered bed in happy relief to be away from the stress of real life.
The one where the boys have only this last trip or two discovered the secluded little hill and and trees tucked in between a few houses next to hers and the campus of UCSC where Brando and his brother used to play and climb and now beg to go there each time we visit. The one where I look around at all the happy memories and happy collectibles some might call clutter but are so lovingly placed and dust free (HOW does she do it?!) that it couldn't pass as clutter if it tried.
She's packing all those things up in boxes and getting them ready for an estate sale, minus anything we would like. I'm making a list of things that are the most special that I would love to have in my house to look at and smile every day - like the paintings she bought in Sundance when I first met Brando and she had taken Justinbustin and I to Utah with them for Thanksgiving at her sisters, and the painting that has XOXO and a rose on it that she commissioned Brando's good friend and Shawner's namesake to paint for her. I'm so visual I wish I had taken pictures of her home before she packed it all up. Perhaps I can scrounge up a mish-mash from photos of the boys taken in the home, and be content with the happy, happy memories there in the meantime.
My heart is breaking a little to know that this place of comfort won't be there any longer. But I realize she will make wherever she is home, and wherever she is we will have a place to stay. I wish I could say she was coming here to our city, but it looks like she will be moving closer to Aptos, the place I grew up in.
Reading Young House Love's post put it all in perspective again, and reminded me, like I had already realized but am having trouble remembering as it's happening, that all parents downsize when their children grow up and leave the home whether they are in an ugly situation (hers is) or not. I'm not alone in dealing with this situation. It's easier for me to see that they will be okay, and as I realize they will be okay, I realize I will be okay, too.
Tell me, why do you read blogs?