Back at Square One

So the schedule for my new job? Insane. Not what I signed up for, and with it being a new property, wouldn't change for a long while. She had me working six days in a row last week and this week would've been near the same. Besides working until 7pm plus in the evening every evening - and don't forget class till 8pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. I'm exhausted, I'm tired, and I'm done. With that job any way. I'm trying so hard not to feel like a failure and a quitter because I totally do. That time frame would NOT have worked for my family and I have been enjoying every second of time I've had with them (and sleep) this weekend. I'm trying hard to look at what's coming up on my schedule and realize MORE job search is coming up - maybe even harder this time around because I realize what will happen if the schedule doesn't fit mine much. Plus I've got school with the boys two days a week and they need a fun Mom around, not depressed Mom around. Although I have to admit depressed is better than the panic attacks I was having last week with going from 6am in the morning to midnight every day and not seeing my family at all in the interim.

My sister and her mother-in-law have been praying for me (thanks Laura, I appreciate yours). That has really helped me hang on to the idea that there might be hope. 'Cause I sure don't see it.