Monday, September 24, 2007


And theme songs. Since earlier this year, well since a few years ago really I have had theme songs for the space in life I'm at. It started off with Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield, moved on to Say It Right by Natalie Furtado, then Into the Ocean by Blue October, Glamorous by Fergie, then Big Girls Don't Cry by Fergie. And now. Now I don't know what it is.

This is where the balance comes in. Brando mentioned all my songs are "girl power" songs. And yes I am on that trip. I CAN be powerful and be a girl, dammit. But right now I just want to curl up and feel the safety of Brando's arms. I don't want to do it on my own. How do I feel like the take charge woman I can be and enjoy being and still feel that safety and that comfort of having the relationship I have? Or am I supposed to feel one way or the other? Is there a balance in between the two?

For a moment there I thought I caught a glimpse of who I am. Now I'm not so sure. Was that me or who I want to be when I'm not feeling the satisfaction of who I am when I'm at home? These are the days I wish I had those confusing and clarifying days of college to have already gone through so I would already have had those defining moments of me.



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