Who I want to be

Somebody with desires and passions. Dreams, both fulfilled and unfulfilled. Happy and able to enjoy life in whatever situation I am in.

That used to be me, what happened to me?! I need to figure out how to be that in the space I am in right now i.e. with having LOTS of those dreams unfulfilled (owning a house we actually live in, being able to buy something I just want without breaking the bank, being out of debt).

For some reason I felt like me working would've fixed a lot of those, maybe that's still the case, I don't know. Part time work with kids in school part time is near impossible to find, unless (wait for it) you're college educated. I still do want to have a family by the time I'm done with it all. And somewhere in the back of my heart I still want to do what's best for my children.

I'm getting sick of my own plea. Where's the baby step for this? I need something to pour myself into and this sniffling about it is not it.