Stay At Home Mom Trials

I just realized tonight. When you work at a "real" job you get daily affirmation of who you are, the kind of person you seem to be to others, whether it is good or bad, you get daily affirmation that you ARE. When you are a at home parent, day in and day out, it's hard to translate the language of a baby, or the constant describing of all that is happening from a 5 year old into affirmation that you ARE, whether good or bad. Those daily Mommy hugs do do it, but in a different manner. Those give you a deep, soul-hearted feel, where you KNOW you are doing what you should be doing. But on the external fragile outer shell, you are wondering who am I and does anybody even realize I exist, whoever I am?? Of course sometimes that affirmation comes from your spouse, but how often can they affirm that over and over, until you nag it out them, which then of course doesn't give you what you need but leaves you upset and pissed.

God only truely can give us what we need, I truely believe. And I think the only way that external outer layer will ever be satisified is by taking care of the core, fully trusting and believing in God, that He has a plan for EVERY thing even the minor insignificant things, even the things that we think SHOULDN'T be happening. I saw a quote today, "It is easy enough to be pleasant when life flows by like a song. But the man worthwile is one who will smile when everything goes dead wrong." Ella Wheeler Wilcox . How I would love to be that person. One step at a time....