Seeing things as what they could be instead of what they are

I have a tendency to look at things as they are, instead of what they could be. My kitchen counters, for example, when clutter overtakes them I look at the clutter and focus purely on how my kitchen is SO cluttered and I can't take it and my kitchen will never be the same and whine, whine, whine. The other day a lightbulb went off in my head and I realized underneath all that clutter there was still a beautiful, spotless kitchen counter with my pretty coffee cafe decorations sitting on it underneath all that clutter. And so I moved the clutter. And I had my sparkling kitchen counter and island back. Just like that.

I started to think, what else have I been looking at just the clutter and not what it could be? My life, maybe. The clutter being debt, the fact we don't own a house currently and subsequently the kids school situation is completely up in the air year to year. Then I thought, well what could our life be? The debt will be gone (someday), we can buy a house, move to a neighborhood where I'm comfortable with the school and the kids will have a stable school situation. Just like that we have our sparkling life. Okay, it will still get dirty but underneath it will be sparkling and we'll just have to shine it occasionally.

Another place I've been looking at what is instead of what it could be is people. I tend to look at all the clutter in their lives. Job situation, debt situation, relationship situation, how their free time is spent, the personal issues and struggles they deal with on a daily basis, and judge them by that clutter instead of looking at what they could be and trusting that they will be that someday. I'm not just talking about people I meet on a day to day basis, on a very raw and honest level I'm talking about the people I'm closest to - my family. It's easy to believe what my friends could be - their decisions don't directly affect me and who I am. My family, on the other hand, when I'm going through hard times it's easy to believe it's the people closest to me that are part of the problem with the clutter in their lives affecting me as well as them. Instead of realizing they can be something too, and realizing that I am one of the biggest parts in their lives that has to help them see and move past the clutter and see the sparkling shiny them that will always be there. I'm loving this new focus, this new question I can ask myself to right my perspective, "Instead of what it is, what could it be?"