Ladela

I just can't seem to write for therapy right now. Everything I write about is recording an event or events. I don't want to miss a moment. Our tenant came over and dropped off a check today. Yesterday M and I went to Walmart until 1am in the morning and came back and watched Noel. A very touching movie. It was good. I didn't get to bed until 3:45am. Started back up with school with J this morning after being off for Oma's visit last week. We did do a lot of field trips though. I worry sometimes that I'm not consistent enough with his schooling. I know how much he's getting out of it but there's still the push to have that everyday school experience, even if they are learning just as much or more otherwise. It stresses me out.

J has these amazing strengths that are incomparable to other kids his age, but then some things he just seems so immature in. I worry about those, and know I shouldn't. He will mature, or he will strengthen his strenghts and balance those out. S enthralls me. The things he sees, the color he implies, and the way he works with his hands amazes me. He is an auditory learner and that is the weakest point for me. It fascinates me how he can listen to a song and learn everything about it. I worry that I'm not able to see how he does things enough and that I won't be able to teach him how he needs to be taught.

I don't know if we are doing this homeschooling forever. I have such doubts lately. I've never ruled out school, but I don't want to fight the system for J. Never mind fight the system, I don't want to have to put in the same amount of work and give him a lesser experience. For S, I'm not so sure. He's a totally different guy. Maybe he'd work with it better. He still won't go into a nursery to this day. He loves people, and if he sees you genuinely care about HIM he's all over you, but if you're just there to take care of him forget about it.

There are these schools now called university schools where you take your core courses and your electives. You go to the school twice a week and homeschool the rest. I love the sound of that. Unfortuently then one at our church ends their registration this week, not giving us enough time to pray about it. B's first reaction is don't mess with a good thing, too far to drive, and of course moolah. There is another one that the church we used to go is possibly starting up here, so maybe that will be an option. I also heard about a few others today.

Well I guess I am writing for therapy. It helps. I can see I'm worrying too much and need to place it in God's hands. There are so many options available here it makes my head spin to know that I am doing the right one.