Normally these are not things I would post about, I try to keep most of B's and I relationship out this realm of blogosphering, but there has been so much SEX talk I wanted to put in my 2 cents and it wouldn't fit in a comment : ) . So this is for you, GFF, and Allison, and Dazed, who I have not had the fortune of reading enough.
I am definently NOT as open about sex as GFF, but I used to be a freak about it. Wanted it ALL the time. Well my hubs kind of changed that. And it's been a really good lesson in discipline for me, and finding out why I felt like I needed it so much. After the marriage conference we went to just a bit ago it released some of those apprehensions I'd always had about sex being "bad" or "dirty" to talk about and I don't discuss it with red cheeks anymore. Before I met B I was a crazy girl, but with B I told him I couldn't be that way otherwise I knew I would leave him - I had left all the other guys because I knew that wasn't what I was truly looking for. He somehow had the character to say no even when I begged for it. We DID do other things though and - from the skewed religious perspective - I didn't realize those things are included in the ultimate intimate experience, so I really can't say what I would do if I were single again. I do know that I WISH I had done it differently. The issues that my husband and I have had to work through on past hurts and relationships with each other have not been worth the having them in the first place. Our sexual lives have been a place of exploration with each other. Just a year or two ago we feel like we were able to begin with a fresh start - the past had finally been wiped away, dealt with, argued over, and come to terms with. Then we started anew. It has been a blissful two years of learning each others patterns and letting go of past expectations, ending with that marriage conference beginning our own personal world of passion in sexual intimacy.
Wow. That was really hard for me to talk about. And it brought tears to my eyes to read over it again. Those are some tough times we've been through and I am so thankful for every moment of them that brought us to here.