Normally these are not things I would post about, I try to keep most of B's and I relationship out this realm of blogosphering, but there has been so much SEX talk I wanted to put in my 2 cents and it wouldn't fit in a comment : ) . So this is for you, GFF, and Allison, and Dazed, who I have not had the fortune of reading enough.
I am definently NOT as open about sex as GFF, but I used to be a freak about it. Wanted it ALL the time. Well my hubs kind of changed that. And it's been a really good lesson in discipline for me, and finding out why I felt like I needed it so much. After the marriage conference we went to just a bit ago it released some of those apprehensions I'd always had about sex being "bad" or "dirty" to talk about and I don't discuss it with red cheeks anymore. Before I met B I was a crazy girl, but with B I told him I couldn't be that way otherwise I knew I would leave him - I had left all the other guys because I knew that wasn't what I was truly looking for. He somehow had the character to say no even when I begged for it. We DID do other things though and - from the skewed religious perspective - I didn't realize those things are included in the ultimate intimate experience, so I really can't say what I would do if I were single again. I do know that I WISH I had done it differently. The issues that my husband and I have had to work through on past hurts and relationships with each other have not been worth the having them in the first place. Our sexual lives have been a place of exploration with each other. Just a year or two ago we feel like we were able to begin with a fresh start - the past had finally been wiped away, dealt with, argued over, and come to terms with. Then we started anew. It has been a blissful two years of learning each others patterns and letting go of past expectations, ending with that marriage conference beginning our own personal world of passion in sexual intimacy.
Wow. That was really hard for me to talk about. And it brought tears to my eyes to read over it again. Those are some tough times we've been through and I am so thankful for every moment of them that brought us to here.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
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7 Comments:
:) Good Post.
You're brave to discuss it. Glad it's a postive topic for you. :)
Wow, what an incredibly honest post. I am proud of you! I think we all struggle with a little of the feeling like it's a bad and dirty thing to talk about, but then I think that can really hold us back in the physical aspect of it (or take it to the other extreme like you said, and make you feel like you want it all the time). I feel like it's really healthy to talk about and kind of "normalizes" it so it's not some crazy forbidden or dirty thing.
Thank you for being so honest!!
Agree with GFF very honest post. B and I have had to deal with something in my past I am not proud of. It has been a struggle but we have gotten through it. I have had to tell myself that I am with the one I want to spend the rest of my life with and my past mistakes are exactly what they are the past.
thanks for sharing with us. it helps to hear other people's experiences and how they deal with them.
We talked about this last time I saw you at Uncle Julios, and now, with the changes we both have had, we need to get together again and catch up! I'm still hoping late summer we can swing down to Austin for a weekend. :-)
That was a great post. I do think that too often as Christians we think it's a dirty thing to talk about, but it really is such a beautiful thing if done in the context that God has designed. I totally know what you mean by realizing that the "other stuff" is part of the whole intimate experience. It's hard to think of saving ALL of it for marriage, but I know people that have and have amazing testimonies. It's so wonderful that you've worked through the past and are allowing God to restore that area in your lives. Thanks for being so open :)
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