Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Mind Wondering

I miss my home. Okay, this is home, but I miss my house. With the looong sidewalk in front that my kids would ride their skateboards up and down, with the bedroom of mine that was within eye view of the kitchen (so I could lay in bed while they ate their cereal), with the kitchen that was mine that had the things I needed, ingredients and cookware, with the shower that was mine that didn't mildew (although I think we got the lid on this one), with the big computer desk that held more and kept it out of sight too, with the house that was ours, not always expecting somebody to be there when we got back. Just us. In our sweet little peaceful home. I miss it.

And I know our neighbor of 4 years who is such a good guy is living there with his son, and that is a small comfort. We have had him over for Thanksgiving the past 2 or 3 years and this year we weren't with him, but he was in our house. Honestly it is a comfort, knowing that it's being cared and loved for.

We probably won't ever end up living in that house again, but still, it's the place where my babies grew up. Namely my first one, because the Little Guy is still doing lots of his growing, but he did come into who he is at that place. I have so many wonderful memories there, and I hope my boys do, too.

It's hard because I know Little Guy will never remember it. He may remember the big ouchie he got when he had to have stitches right before we left, but I don't think he will remember anything else, he's only just turned 3. And Big Guy is only 5 and a half. He may have a few memories but not many.

And there were so many good memories, so many happy times there. Picnics on the front lawn with peanut butter and jelly, and $1 for the ice cream truck as it drove by. Tweety Bird and Superman and Ice Cream Rockets. Lazy days in the heat of the summer sitting by the pool while the kids splashed for hours or ran through the sprinkler over and over. Spring days of gardening and Little Guy, once I showed him how, filling up his little watering can in the pool and watering every single plant in the grarden, while Big Guy collected the little tiny worms as they showed up.

We will make new memories here. We already are. We just opened up the 8th day of our chocolate advent calendar. But there's something to be said for the old memories, about reminiscing, there always is. They are comforting. I know them. I know that I was able to handle the changes they offered. The pressure, the hard days, the good days, the sweetness , even the loneliness, that they offered. And I came out on top, I did good with those days.. These ones I don't doubt I'll do the same, but I don't know yet, and it's comforting to know.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...