This afternoon I was driving down the freeway looking up at the gorgeous blue sky and the trees lining the road and listening to my favorite station thinking about our life here and how nobody has to worry about a big storm coming through or a freeze or hail or big bugs or dangerously hot weather, and it all just seems so surreal. People don't have these things to worry about so they fill their time with c*r*a*p. Stuff. Issues. Crisis. Drama. More stuff. Entertainment. Going out. Drinking. Everything but dealing with yourself. I'm not saying I don't think this stuff is elsewhere I know it is. I just think it's so much more prominent here. In this area where people have so much to be grateful and so little to worry about that they create worries for themselves.
I'm in tears tonight. I feel like I have no support around me. It takes too much effort to be different when everybody else just stays the same. When I was away from this place, these people, I could be different, I could be ME, because I surrounded myself with people who supported me, and who I supported. Even my husband is less supportive out here. Understandably he's training for a new job and consumed with that, but he never has been very supportive when we are out here, something about being around our family seems to bring out the worst in us.