Wednesday, December 29, 2004


I look around me sometimes and wonder if we are all just living on the surface. We entertain ourselves with so much to see and do that we never have the time to get below the surface and we like it like that just fine. I feel like that is what I am doing here. Something happens that normally I don't like and normally I take it a lot more seriously and try to figure out why it's happening and what I can do to change it. Out here I feel like I just make a joke, smile, and move on. That's the end of it. But not really. It's still there. Under the surface. And someday when I have time I'll deal with it. Or someday it will make me deal with it.

My sister filed for divorce today while I watched her kids. And tonight she is going to counseling with her husband while I watch her kids. Makes me wonder if you have to go to counseling that you've been living on the surface way too long. If you need to go to counseling, you haven't sought it out in the first place which is the first thing you should do. Go to those whose marriages are like what you would like yours to be, go to those who are strong in character, know where you've been, but have walked the path that you want to walk, and ask them how they did it. Ask them again and again in every different way possible until you get it. Until it sticks in your head and you start to dig below the surface.

My sister is a notorious surface liver. Makes for a very fun lifestyle, if that's your version of fun, but for a poor deep meaning in your life. I hope one day she wakes up and realizes it's not about the surface, it's about what's underneath. Why don't I tell her this, you ask. I have, over and over, in so many different ways. For a regrettable pun, it never sinks below the surface. I hope one day it does. I love her to death and only hope the best in every aspect of her life. She has a very forceful personality and could use it for so much good. She definently has the power of influence, and influencing the right things she could change so many lives for the better, including, I believe herself and ergo those she so badly wants to change.



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