I DO know

There's so much swimming in my head right now you don't even want to know. But I need some theraupetic writing right now so just skip this post if you don't want to hear it. There's so much going on right now I am excited for MOST of it. I'm having this weird thing I've never come across before where I enjoy spending time with my hubby with friends more than I do spending time alone with him!! It really scares me because I've noticed people who have hard relationships are so concerned about spening time with other people they dont' take time for themselves. Hubby and I went on a date Saturday and geez it felt like pulling teeth!!! We went to dinner, I don't even remember where, painted pottery which WAS fun even though I made fun of his colors he picked to paint me well not made fun just pointed out they didn't match my house so where was I going to point it and got crap for that *sigh*, then went to a movie which we couldn't agree on. We finally went to the one I wanted to go to which I felt horrible for and then went home and crashed at 1am despirte a quiet house with no kiddos i.e. room for noise if you catch my drift.

Usually it's the other way around where I'm desperate to have alone time with JUST him so that we can just sit back and be a family. Lately thoughts keep running through my head - who could we invite that would be fun and would want to go with us to do what we're doing. And I usually come up with somebody!! In the past I might think that as a fleeting thought and then think oh no, it'll be much more fun with just us. I haven't acted on it yet, but I'm getting close to it!

Maybe it's NOT a bad thing, but it kind of scares me that I'd rather spend time with somebody outside my family than my own family. Having somebody else there cushions the tension between Brando and I lately and we're forced to just have fun and not worry about arguing. I think we've gotten so good at NOT arguing in front of people that for me it's just easier to be in front of people : ) . Otherwise we're arguing!! Argh.

In other news we got another gecko today. I'm not sure when I became the mom of adolescent teenage boys but I guess I did. Any way first gecko cute. Second one not. First gecko desperately wanted by S. Second gecko just because. I'm all about reasons. And with no reason he's the redheaded stepchild in my eyes. I'm not sure if that's horrible or not but I just don't have any emotional energy left over. I hardly feel like I have any for my marriage relationship right now.