Looking Back

Maybe there's a moral to the story of Lot's wife looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah and turning into a pillar of salt. I'm not sure what it is. I was reading my first posts for a moment and got lost back in the feeling of everything being hunky dory. You can see in the first few posts of us being in California how screwed up that vision and that sureness I had in my life got. I don't argue I've learnt a million things. But somehow my perception of reality is skewed. I feel like everything is owed to me and I don't owe nothing to nobody. The problem is I'm hanging onto the reality of that's what it should be, I deserve to live in California near family and not have it affect the way I live my life and the way my husband and my relationship is. All of a sudden living in Texas is too high a cost to pay. I want to have fun! Be around friends and hang out. Not have to worry about how my choices and attitudes are affecting how two little boys grow up into men. Can you have a midlife crisis at 25? Throw enough hoops into the mix and I'm sure it's possible cause I sure feel the world spinning right now.