Sex

Yeah that stuff. It becomes VERY interesting after becoming a parent. At first it's hard because you've got a baby that doesn't care what you're doing when they decide to have a poopy diaper or be hungry or want to wake up in the middle of the night. Doesn't give a freaking hoot. On the other hand you don't have to be as careful with a baby about your conversation, when it's time to put the baby to bed so Mommy and Daddy can go have Mommy and Daddy time, etc. Then they get a little older. At first it's nice because they sleep through the night, not that they didn't when they were babies but they aren't so close to you in proximity when they are sleeping at this point. Then they get even more older. And they get up and knock on your door. In the middle of Mommy and Daddy time. When you are running for covers when the door is locked just so you don't seem like you were walking around the room unclothed for the fun of it, it's a whole other realm. Then when they stand there listening at the door? S told us what they heard when they were standing at the door listening unbeknownst to us, fortunately it had nothing to do with the actual subject matter, rather something about singing. Oh yeah. I will laugh my butt off when my kids are able to read this. Actually J could read most of it now, which is why he won't be allowed on my blog for a very long time :).

Which takes me on another random note, for those of us with 'private' blogs do you ever think about the fact that as our children grow up, seeing us blog every moment in time they will suddenly hit a certain age (who knows what that age is) where our blogs aren't going to be so private anymore? That just hit me. I guess it's when they really start using the computer and tell Oma, "Oh yeah, Mommy's blog address is http://www..." that I really have to start to worry.

Hoping

We went to sign more papers on the house today. They've broken ground. Scary! Moving down south is a whole other world. I'm hoping the people I've met who live down there I'll be able to develop relationships with, but I'm scared that I won't! I'm also scared I'll lose my friends up here!

The kids school has revamped their math program for next year and I am SO pissed. They are going to be using Saxon math instead of Singapore math, which J adores. I guess we'll wait and see how it goes, but if it ends up being no fun we'll have to figure out something else in that area. Sigh. Really don't want to go the homeschooling route, even in one area, again.

Learning about time management has helped me realize that I can look thru J's syllabus and write down important dates, dates reports are due, and so on in my planner as well as my own important dates and due dates. Which keeps me able to know what's coming. Funny, I always thought people just knew how to plan like that and I just didn't get it, now I'm finding out you actually have to learn this stuff and I am learning it. At least that'll be a big help for his three reports due... sigh!! Nobody ever told me the school world was so full of freakin' papers!!!

We found a FUN new spot in Austin, Twin Falls. It's a completely shaded short hike to the river and once you get there there are several shallow wading areas, several flatish rocks with water flowing over them in the lowest spots that remind me of the tide pools in Cali, and a deep swimming area right in the middle. It's refreshingly beautiful. Only I was jealous of the party next to us who brought a full bar in their cooler. Mmm. The kids had an absolute blast, and despite her carsickness we brought Brownie and took the straight driving route just for her.

Sorry for the randomness of my posts lately! I am pretty sure we haven't taken a single picture in four weeks as we have been too busy going from one place to the next. On top of that, I haven't been able to sit down long enough to rehash more than what immediately pops in my mind. Maybe I should start taking notes when I think of things to write about when I'm not near my computer. Hmmm.

Thoughts

My first six page exam paper is due Monday and I wrote it tonight! In a little over two hours!! Whoohoo! I am so proud of myself! It took me an hour and a half to write my first two page paper so I have improved a lot. On top of that I really feel having graduate friends edit my papers has improved my writing greatly. I have used their revisions to get my point across with more meaningful and fewer words, and clarified my focus where they advise. I will read my paper over tomorrow and then hand it over to Li to edit. I am pretty darn confident about it and love its overall feeling.

In other news, in discovering my own identity Brando has felt lost in his. In the past he has relied on my belief in him to carry him through. I still believe in him. However, I have come to see him not as completely perfect or completely idiotic but as the truth, a person who has much character and also has faults. While those faults do not overshadow his character, they are still there. I have spoken my mind a lot more and not bottled up feelings like I normally would. Last week I spoke with my counselor about having to stand up for standing up and he told me to not give up. That I need to do the I am woman, hear me roar, the healthy version. He told me if I get told I am negative for stating my opinion to say that I am simply stating my opinion and I do not like being told I am negative for stating my opinion so please do not tell me I am negative for saying my opinion. That has helped this past week immensely. Another thing that helps is knowing Brando deals with his own insecurities and is projecting those onto me when he tells me I am negative. If we can get to the bottom of what he is really feeling it helps him communicate to me better. The progress in discovering my identity and who God intends me to be that I have made has been absolutely amazing and I never could have imagined I could learn so much in such a short amount of time.

Little Down and the Tooth Fairy

With the rush of friend time I had last weekend I am feeling a little down with not so much friend time coming up this weekend.
_________________________

Justinbustin lost another tooth!! Now all he wants for his birthday coming up is his two front tooth. At least that is what it looks like he wants!! The tooth fairy came on time and left him five bucks to make up for the last few times she was late on switching out his tooth.

Back to Reality

These last three days without Brando have not been the hell I thought they would. In fact the kids and I had a really enjoyable time. We had playdates, we tanned with friends (okay that was me), we went to dinner at a restaurant with a playground, we kept the house shining and spotless, we watched movies together, we made cookies and cupcakes. I even arranged a babysitter for part of Saturday afternoon and got some me time! Now that he's home it takes me back that I have to make decisions with input from someone else again.

To answer Heather's comment I did not get to see Allison. She called me for lunch on Saturday at eleven in the morning. That must have been the time I rushed the boys down to the house and dumped us all in the shower to get rid of the poison oak oil that covered our clothing and skin because I LEFT MY CELL PHONE IN THE CAR!!! An hour and a half later I'm sure she was on to some pre wedding happiness, and I on my way to a few hours alone, stopping at Sephora for a makeover and then to coffee at 360 Primo with a friend. So no seeing Allison this weekend. Boo!!

The kids and I went and helped Keep Austin Beautiful in their annual clean up Saturday morning. They had about twenty meeting points all over Austin for people to come and get equipment and pick up all the garbage on the sides of the road. They equipped us and gave us an area that was about half a mile long on either side of the street. The first part was covered in poison oak. We started to dig in until the family we were with told me they had the poison oak lotion back at the meeting point. We went back to put it on and still showered with TechNu poison oak soap when we got home, immediately putting our clothes through the wash. Fortunently by the time we got back from putting on the poison oak lotion the other family had gone through that area already. We went through the rest of our area and discovered some gorgeous flowers and lots and lots of trash. Mostly beer bottles, cans, and cigarette butts. Dang if people would stop smoking and drinking in their cars and throwing it out the window there would be a lot less trash. At least on that area of the road. I would've never thought picking up trash was fun but it was a blast to learn how to do it safely and such a fun experience to be out with another family and taking care of our town while having cars slow down for us because volunteers are flagging down cars at all major thoroughfares to our road and letting them know to slow down!

Brando got home at 2:30am last night. Boy did I want to stay up for him but after having three and a half hours of sleep the night before (long story involving babysitting and Starbucks frappucino) I was out like a light by 1am. He knocked on the door without a key and when he called to ask me to open the door I actually told him I would and then fell back asleep.

Today was his birthday!! Happy 26th baby!! I made him a cupcake tower cake last night and a basket of guy goodies and left it on the island in the kitchen for him to discover. He LOVED it and we had so much fun watching him open it this morning.

Later we went to the San Antonio Zoo, because, well, we have kids. We had a great time any way and finished off with dinner at Hard Rock Cafe on the Riverwalk.

So now it's back to reality on a week night. Tensions have risen as we are both used to getting to make decisions for three days without the other's input. In the meantime I have decided I will make time for blogging when I want to and not feel bad about doing so. Because damn it it's theraupetic and reminds me I do have a freaking life outside of the daily grind! I do a lot of fun things, with family and with friends, and I need to remind myself of that!

Alone

Hubby has been gone for two days now on a business trip. He's been so cute with texting pictures to my email of his trip. It's almost like being there with him. Almost.

Leaving Austin
Landing at LAX
The seminar he and the guy he went with hosted yesterday evening.

The condo they are staying at which is a mile from the beach. According to Brando that is not that close to the beach for LA. Dang. I'd enjoy being a mile from the beach right now.

I told him something was missing on his bed.

My friends have taken such good care of me since he's been gone. I've had more social time in the last two days than I have in the last four weeks!

Wednesday Krissy - the friend I trade babysitting with, and I made plans for dinner for Friday night. That night I went to dinner with M and baby K. I haven't seen much of her at all lately so we caught up over beers at Rudy's. Later that night Jen invited the boys and I over for dinner with her and her hubs on Friday night. She was so sweet to invite us but I declined as I had already made plans with Krissy.

Yesterday Li had off work so Shawners and I went over to her place to hang out before picking up Justinbustin from school. That evening she came over to catch up on Pussycat Dolls with me (which, btw, I still cannot get completely into - the girls are annoyingly immature).

Today Li came over after work and we tanned and planned Brando's birthday gift while I babysat Krissy's baby. This evening Krissy, her hubs, her baby, the kiddos and I ate dinner at Waterloo Ice House with $2 martinis and the great entertaining playground next to their outdoor seating area for the kids.

Tomorrow we are assisting Justinbustin's school in a community service project, then headed off to meet Krissy for coffee. Whether it will be with or without the kids I'm not sure yet. M has offered to watch them during the day tomorrow if I'm able to meet up with Allison amidst her crazy schedul. Depending on whether that happens or not I just may take M up on it and drive over to say hi to Allison before I head off for coffee.

Lots of fun, needed social time and a photo blog of pictures from Brando's trip leaves me enjoying my semi alone time more than I imagined!

Quality Time

Last week we kept track of our time for a class project. It surprised me to see how LITTLE time I spend with my family, i.e. not watching TV or a movie or taking a walk or eating or being around others but actual interaction with them. As a Mom there are always Mom duties, but for actual one on one interaction with my kiddos or my hubby there were zero hours. Actual time spent with the family was only six hours. We did go camping this weekend but that wasn't really family time because we each had our group of moms, dads, or kiddos to hang out with and didn't interact with each other.

Yesterday I set out to change the amount of time I spend with my family and spent an hour and a half making a pretend zoo with Shawn and doing a puzzle with him. He set out every single one of his stuffed animals very cutely for his zoo and then gave me his plastic animals to set up for my zoo. Then I bought a gecko, several tigers, and a few dragons from his zoo. Afterwards we did his cheetah puzzle he got in his Easter basket. It was actual one on one time and it was wonderful. Too bad it didn't translate to well behaved little boy later on but whatever! He's missing his Daddy.

Everytime I think about posting...

I have something really great in mind and now that I get here my mind blanks! So for now all I've got are updates. Don't cry too many tears of sheer boredom!

Counseling: Going GREAT!! We are out of the "history" phase and into the "tools for life" phase. I was intimidated by the "tools for life" stage as I like to do things well, and I'm not sure how well I'll do at this. I remind myself that the friend who recommended this guy has told me that this really has helped her over the long run to see insights about herself and make changes. So! Long run thinking!

Classes: love, LOVE, LOVE them! My professor loves me too, which is great. It helps that I have two already graduated students helping me edit my papers I'm sure! My professor really is a great teacher and I am learning SO much about transitioning to college. The class I am taking I have heard that people can tend to blow off. I have seen evidence to the same by the amount of people showing up to class. I feel I am learning so much about - time management which is HUGE for me, learning styles in the classroom, studying skills, note taking and there is more to come. I suck at note taking as I like to write in whole and complete sentences. We're going through that part right now and I am enjoying it.

School for the kids: Pretty sure I already put this out there, but they will both be attending J's school next year. We applied for a scholarship and did our taxes all on the same day which was Monday.

Life in general: Excellent! And now my bubby woke up so I am off : ) !

So We Went Camping

And it was absolutely fabulous. It was FREEZING yesterday with high winds that made it more cold. I wore five layers all afternoon until the evening when we sat around the bonfire and warmed our hands. Of course I didn't sleep well that night. We were camping for gosh's sake. What was I thinking wanting a good night's sleep?! Today the layers slowly came off as it warmed up to a perfect 73 degrees by early afternoon. We were with J's boy scout group and I've never had such a great time camping with a group of people. They were all friendly and uncliqueish, which I can't stand when people are cliqueish. Yesterday was too cold to do much so today we went hiking to the Devil's Waterhole where the kids climbed on the rocks and swam, hiked back and Brando and J went out on the canoe for a bit before we drove home. It was a relaxing, fun weekend.

Quote of the weekend:

Brando: J keep your shirt around your neck.

S: Me?

Me: No, Daddy was talking to J, because he's burnt. Actually you're kind of crispy too.

S: Good that means you can eat me.

Me: How does that mean I can eat you?

S: Because crispy means it's a doughnut. Because the doughnut place has Krispy in it's name.

Hi Ho Hi Ho

It's off to camping we go. It's a chilly 62 degrees and perfect cuddle up camping weather! Last time we went camping with a group I was bored to tears, but this is a much more BOY oriented group so at least the kids will be occupied! Wish us luck!

PS Cali Girl, I'm pretty sure my hubby will be in your town next weekend. SOOO wish I could go with him and meet you!!

Blogging Away

I am trying to stay away from the internet these days as part of a personal action statement I'm doing via my class. The problem is I miss it even if it's for a day! The internet especially blogland is my community. My connection to the outside world when I'm not able to forge my own. It's the community that's available 24/7. Not a class, not a next door neighbor, not a friend who's schedules and mine conflict, not a dinner on a Saturday night, just there. Always.

In the meantime the purpose is to create more balance in my academic, family, social, and leisure time. It worked last night! At least I laid around. Outside in the sunshine, with Brandon on the couch, with the boys as they went to sleep. Didn't do much in the way of activity except for fold laundry and read some required reading, oh and Li had some friends over so Brando and I went over there for a few margies and some conversation. That is a lot though. Maybe this no computer thing is working for me a little better than I thought. Maybe I should get through the withdrawal symptoms and not judge it so quick. Hehe, I just talked myself through that - sorry you had to hear it! Okay my half hour of internet time is up, now I'm back to the rest of life.

Bluebonnet Pictures

In the spring a gorgeous phenomenon happens here in the hill country of Texas. The bluebonnets bloom. Small blue flowers that burst into life up and down the highways and covering fields and meadows with their brilliant blue. It happens for only a few weeks each year and in those few weeks countless people tramp out in the center of them for their bluebonnet pictures.

Brando had his heart set on getting bluebonnet pictures this year. In the past I have been entirely unimpressed. Coming from California with a colorful array of as many flowers as you could imagine the bluebonnets have never quite held a candle to my imagination of color. This year was different. The drive to find our bluebonnet space was breathtaking in itself, the perfect 80 degree weather with the sun shining through the sunroof crisping the skin on my shoulder from a tan to a burn. The places Brando found to take pictures absolutely floored me. Never did I imagine our Texas had such beauty. And the pictures? Even more so.

Brando set up his tripod to take these pictures of him and I and ones of our family. The smiles on our faces and the sunshine outlining our profiles and highlighting the silhouettes of our bodies in this one takes my breath away.

This one makes my heart skip a beat.

This barn and the next two pictures with the wisteria and the windmill are of the gorgeous setting we found to take pictures in a beautiful little ranch subdivision when we drove out towards Dripping Springs.

These next few are in another subdivision out towards Dripping Springs called Belterra. They were having a bike race through the neighborhood (you can see the orange cone set up in the last picture) as we stopped to take pictures in the bluebonnets.





My boys absolutely love to pick me flowers and do any time they see one. I have a collection of dried bluebonnets and pink poppies on the dashboard of my car. It makes me melt everytime they pick me a flower, be it a dandelion to make a wish with, a bluebonnet, or an array of fresh spring flowers.

What was your favorite things to do as a child?

Okay guys I need your help.

I have a little guy who claims to have no fun all day long because his big brother goes to school, mommy goes to school, and daddy goes to work and he doesn't have ANYthing to do. While Justinbustin is at school I've been trying to help little guy have his own thing to do, whether it be making a mask, using magic noodles to build houses, or coloring on a disappearing ink coloring book, but I'm going to go absolutely broke if I keep going to Hobby Lobby to buy him projects to do. I'd love for him to have his thing that makes him feel he is just as important as the rest of us who have our own things going on.

What fun things stand out in your mind that YOU remember doing with your parents or your Mom? Or what fun things did you do on your own that was something you loved and felt like it was your own?

God I feel like hell tonight

That song has been stuck in my head all afternoon. It is exactly how I feel. Headache, nauseousness, the whole bit. The weather is changing with a cold front coming in and my head is making sure I know it. I had plans to go out with the girls tonight and unfortunately am the one organizing it so I am forcing myself to do it. Cross your fingers I have fun any way!

Update: Thanks for the crossed fingers! I had a BLAST. Funny thing, the headache disappeared as soon as I dropped the kids off with Brando. Hmmm now isn't that strange. hehe first thursday was amAzing. It was perfect 75 degree weather and PACKED, but we rock - we totally found a secret parking area that was completely empty next to the very restaurant we were meeting up at. We walked, and talked, and shopped. Didn't buy a thing but had such a good time chatting. I'm totally filled up on my girlie time - good thing too because I was desperately needing it!

Independence

The boys have started to take showers completely on their own about four months ago. Tonight Shawners took his shower and then Justinbustin hopped in to take his. Five minutes later (yes, the kid likes long showers) we hear "I don't have any soap!" Being the clean mommy that I am I immediately asked Shawners if he actually used soap, assuming since Justinbustin didn't have soap Shawners must not have either. I get this wide eyed look in response and he says, "Yes." And I say, "Do you know what happened to the soap?" I get a big grin in response and he lifts his hands up to demonstrate pouring two bottles out and he says, "Yes because I made soap water with it and poured it all out."

Speaking of cute cuddly squishy baby things

BECKY IS PREGNANT!!!!! CONGRATS GIRL!!! I am SOOO excited for you!!! Her and her hubby have been trying for a LOOONG time. So much so they had accepted that maybe that is what God had for their lives and now she is PREGNANT. Did I say that twice?! I'm just SOOO excited for her. Yay! Another squishy to hold in five months. Wow that seems short when I say it like that : ) . Speaking of, I completely forgot to ask the due date!!

Oh and she reads this blog so please say a BIG congrats to her as well!!

Awwww look at the puppies now!

It's been three weeks since we saw them last and WOW have they gotten big! They are soooo adorable. The only three she has left now are the twins on the left in this first picture, and the one on the right in the last pictures. We want one SO bad.

Soo pretty Mommy and Daddy.

Boo!

If I felt like I had nothing to talk about as a MOM now I really don't feel like I have anything to talk about now that I'm a Mom and a student. No time for any kind of social life! Which is totally getting me down. I carved out time for the classes and the counseling, left whatever was leftover for my family, which is still intact, thank God, and totally left friend time by the wayside. At least any EFFORT for friend time. If you're my next door neighbor, Li, (thank God for her) and you can land in my lap, great, otherwise good luck seeing me.

Fortunately I have a friend who is in the same position life change wise, hers is starting her private practice in counseling, so we're in the same nonsocial boat together. We're getting together to talk about it. I'm also trading off babysitting with a different friend so I get to see her in passing which has kept me surviving. On top of that, she is the momma who's been going to school practically full time since she's had her baby. Between classes and passing kiddos back and forth we're going to talk on how she's surviving with the whole when the hell do we have time for social time subject which will help.

Oh, speaking of school, I wrote and turned in my first paper! Yippee!! My professor was so thrilled - he stopped me on the way out and commended me on how far I've come (already! double yippee!!). It was strange to me that 98% of the people in class had not completed their assignment that was due today. I found it interesting that more people are not taking this class seriously. Is that just community college? I'm so excited about this class, I really feel like it's setting me up for success in the college arena. As a confirmation of what the professor said about my paper I really do feel like I've come a long way in confidence AND ability in a short while. I can't wait to see how much more I learn!

Happy April Fools' Day!

Google is now offering a new free broadband service!

The best part? They totally GOT Brando. Until he realized it was April Fools Day. Me? I kept saying it has to be a joke. I laughed so long and hard that he got took on that. I was saying it HAS to be a joke, and he says in all seriousness it's real. He only realized it was not real by remembering it was April Fools Day right before I went to Google it's reliability. heh Next year I have to do an April Fools joke on him so I can laugh like that again.

Happy April Fools Day!! Did you do a joke this year or were you or someone you know the victim of one?

Houston Fun

My parents had a business trip in Houston last week so we drove out Wednesday evening to have dinner with them and play at the Downtown Aquarium. They have a restaurant that is an aquarium so you are eating next to sharks and sea turtles and sting rays. They also had a few rides, a carousel, a ferris wheel, and a train that goes through a shark tunnel, that the kids went on. SO much fun. We didn't get a picture of the huge group of us that was there - my parents, us, my sister and her boys, business friends fo my Dad and their newly married daughter and son-in-law, but it's enough to say the wine and the converstion flowed.