Thoughts

My first six page exam paper is due Monday and I wrote it tonight! In a little over two hours!! Whoohoo! I am so proud of myself! It took me an hour and a half to write my first two page paper so I have improved a lot. On top of that I really feel having graduate friends edit my papers has improved my writing greatly. I have used their revisions to get my point across with more meaningful and fewer words, and clarified my focus where they advise. I will read my paper over tomorrow and then hand it over to Li to edit. I am pretty darn confident about it and love its overall feeling.

In other news, in discovering my own identity Brando has felt lost in his. In the past he has relied on my belief in him to carry him through. I still believe in him. However, I have come to see him not as completely perfect or completely idiotic but as the truth, a person who has much character and also has faults. While those faults do not overshadow his character, they are still there. I have spoken my mind a lot more and not bottled up feelings like I normally would. Last week I spoke with my counselor about having to stand up for standing up and he told me to not give up. That I need to do the I am woman, hear me roar, the healthy version. He told me if I get told I am negative for stating my opinion to say that I am simply stating my opinion and I do not like being told I am negative for stating my opinion so please do not tell me I am negative for saying my opinion. That has helped this past week immensely. Another thing that helps is knowing Brando deals with his own insecurities and is projecting those onto me when he tells me I am negative. If we can get to the bottom of what he is really feeling it helps him communicate to me better. The progress in discovering my identity and who God intends me to be that I have made has been absolutely amazing and I never could have imagined I could learn so much in such a short amount of time.