But I can blog this

First go check out Courtney's post then find out where that rabbit trail led us.

10,000 Hearts

Justinbustin has had a very stinkin' attitude this last week and it hit it's peak last night. I was so fed up I put him to bed without our usual prayers and hugs. This morning he wakes up and we talked about me or Daddy doing something with him and he says he'd rather have Daddy do it because I hate him. I let him know that I don't hate him, his attitude made me not like him very much but I always love him. Later I wrapped him in my arms and told him how I love him with my whole heart. He says, "You have 10,000 hearts." then he says, "You love God with 999 of them and you love your family and everyone else with one." I told him I don't think God minds that I love my family with those 999 hearts too.

Looking Back

Maybe there's a moral to the story of Lot's wife looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah and turning into a pillar of salt. I'm not sure what it is. I was reading my first posts for a moment and got lost back in the feeling of everything being hunky dory. You can see in the first few posts of us being in California how screwed up that vision and that sureness I had in my life got. I don't argue I've learnt a million things. But somehow my perception of reality is skewed. I feel like everything is owed to me and I don't owe nothing to nobody. The problem is I'm hanging onto the reality of that's what it should be, I deserve to live in California near family and not have it affect the way I live my life and the way my husband and my relationship is. All of a sudden living in Texas is too high a cost to pay. I want to have fun! Be around friends and hang out. Not have to worry about how my choices and attitudes are affecting how two little boys grow up into men. Can you have a midlife crisis at 25? Throw enough hoops into the mix and I'm sure it's possible cause I sure feel the world spinning right now.

Bouncey Fun

Today was Welcome Back Sunday at our church and our class helped out instead of doing Sunday School. We got there about twenty minutes late and sat down with friends who were eating lunch before we got called to be replacement people at the First Connection table for Squishy's Mom and Dad (the baby whose home birth I was at). They sat down to eat lunch and I took Squishy because he was too cute and I couldn't resist. I watched him for their anniversary on Thursday and we had the best time talking and laughing and jumping around. He had his little arm up in the air and was doing it with me.


Any way they had bounce houses, Pokey Joe's BBQ (yum!!), snow cones. It was fun seeing everybody in our Sunday School in random places - at the tables, bouncing in the bounce houses, waiting at the bottom of the slide. One of my good friends has a cute story to tell me about my kiddo. Both of them ran free the whole time we were there in their huge courtyard. We stopped by Whole Foods for groceries and came home. Brando took the kids to the pool and I printed and figured out our school for the week then joined them and got my hair wet for the FIRST TIME in the pool this summer. Bad, I know. Who likes looking like a wet raccoon? Not me. I wasn't going to join them but I'm glad I did. Made for a perfect ending to a wonderful day.

Moving into routines

Sometimes I feel SO mean. Sometimes it would be easier to have them in school full time. I'd have all day to make my house pretty, bake cookies, and not get so frustrated when they got home, you know that whole Stepford wife routine.

Brando says I always have to have things perfect or else I feel like it's the end of the world. Probably that whole control thing again. *sigh*

We're watching Napolean Dynamite where Napolean does the skit for president by dancing to disco music when the music until then has been slow. That was great. Brando doesn't see the point of the movie but I thought it was cute in an underdog root for the loser sort of way. That and I needed to laugh at something stupid.

We went to Chipotle for dinner and had margie's and beer and had chocolate covered strawberry ice cream at home after the kiddos went to bed. I think I'm PMSing.

Veritas Curriculums

Spell to Write and Read is their language arts program. I have only heard good things about it and attended the training program on it. I am so excited about how it teaches! Singapore Math develops the mental math. I did that with Justinbustin this last year and I can't believe how much more intrigued in Math I am!! I used to think I was not good at math at all. Now I can come up with things faster than my hubby (sometimes : ) and love it. This was all just by doing it with J. That is one of the beauties of working with your own kids, you rediscover and discover new stuff with them. They learn to love it and love learning more because they feed off your desire to learn and your love of it!

The School Year Starts

The first week of school is over and I am SO excited about the whole week and the rest of the year!! The first week went REALLY well. Having everything laid out for me made things much easier than homeschooling.

Knowing more than 1000 hours went into the research of the curriculum and being aware enough to know they really did pick the top curriculums available gives me such a peace of mind. They broaden the curriculum with SO much outside resources which is more amazing. They want to make sure the kids are seeing things from not one author's perspective, but many.

Courtney asked how we're still able to homeschool AND attend school. The school is a University Model School. They are set up like a college. They have core courses which are the Language Arts & History core course and the Math & Science core course. They have electives including PE, Spanish, Music, Art, Drama. They do their classes on Tuesday and Thursday and assign school to do at home on Monday and Wednesday. Friday is a flex day to be able to do extra work if desired or take additional electives.

J is taking Math & Science, Music, and Beginning Guitar. He is on the wait list to take the classes for Language Arts and History. In the meantime I am doing the classroom lesson plans on Mondays and Wednesdays at home along with the Math/Science assigned work and the assigned work of LA/History on the days he goes in to school.

It's gone wonderfully! He enjoyed his first and second day of classes. I asked him how he liked his first day at home and he said, "I LOVEd it."

Apples for Oranges

An apple is an apple with apple qualities and an orange is an orange with orange qualities.

A little vent... I am SICK of having to defend that we

used

to exclusively homeschool. You guys and the friends I have here have been so wonderfully supportive, I think I took it for granted. Some of my OLDest friends and my OWN sisters have not been so encouraging. I was thinking about why it irritated and stressed me out so much and came to the conclusion that I wanted to control their thinking. Well I can't. So why stress about it?

Instead I thought of a good one or two liner when they imply that they're soooo glad he'll be going to school and try to convince me his needs weren't being met previously. "As a parent knowing your child better than anyone else would you do what is absolutely the best for your child?" "That's exactly what I have done and

continue

to do." I never stopped!!!!!!! As a parent can anyone argue that? Seriously I'm doing the best for my children that THEY need, and you're doing the best for what YOUR children need. I'm not telling you what you're doing isn't what you should be doing, so please don't tell me that what I'm doing and have done isn't what I should be doing.

People have NO clue how much homeschooling has inspired Justinbustin to be the man that he is. They have no idea what creates the lump in my throat as I type this. You know the struggles that I have gone through, the struggles that I continue to go through. The struggles HE has gone through and how he has so amazingly come through all of them. Even his speech therapist who is qualified beyond expectation says that the reason he has the confidence he has today is BECAUSE we homeschooled him. So don't tell me that I have EVER done him wrong in that way in the past.

This child has compassion beyond the normal years of his life. He holds babies, feed them bottles, burps them, and kisses them on their forehead. He is by their side when they start to get fussy comforting them. His friend he attached to immediately in the fundamentals class has had challenges of his own during his life. The compassion they have for each other and the obliviousness to differences in human beings is priceless. I have more compassion because of all that we have gone through, but I

wish

had as much compassion as my seven year old boy. I KNOW that being in school with other children not so familar with the hardships of life would've been only a scar and not a development into the mature little man in front of me today.

Trash Money

On the way to our orientation of the curriculum coordinators position Shawners is sitting up in the front seat (no, we don't have an airbag. yes, it's our other car and it's that old. don't ask) and picks up a receipt and says, "oooh. Trash." a few seconds later, "Trash money!" That was cute enough right there. Then he reads the numbers off the bottom and let's me know he read all the code. The next five minutes on the way to Starbucks he reads the rest of the numbers on the rather long receipt. The smile stayed on my face the whole way there.

Last Day of Summer

We spent the day at the Austin Zoo with Kel and her goddaughter, Tyler. Shawners wanted to see the lions and the snakes and Justinbustin wanted to get in the petting zoo area even though they had all kinds of big ol' goats in there. We rode the train around the hill country and chatted about her road trip to New York with her good friend who just moved up there, then picnicked with the peacocks, feeding them grapes and apples as we ate. It was sooo hot we were rubbing ice cubes up and down our legs and arms and they would melt into nothing within a matter of seconds. We were hoping to hit Barton Springs afterwards but Tyler lasted the whole four hours and was ready to hit the sack by the time we left. The boys somehow stayed up on the drive home and we shopped Target for some things to stay organized once we get started back on the school year.

I'm so excited to be homeschooling him this year and still have him in a school setting with all the opportunities that brings! He's already got a friend from the review class that will be in his class. Saturday we had a pool party for the 2nd graders and met many of the moms and dads of the kids who will be in his class and J got to know them too!

Last Day of Summer

We spent the day at the Austin Zoo with Kelly and her goddaughter, Tyler. Tyler is sooo cute and never stops smiling - even after four hours at the zoo! Shawn requested we see the lions and then the snakes. Justin wanted to go in the petting zoo with the goat that kept pushing all the other goats. Both of them were completely enthralled in the snake room where Kellye and I pretty much freaked out in the tiny claustrophic room with aquariums full of white snakes and other weird things. Kelly's favorite part was the goat that stuck out it's tongue four inches when you held out food for her.

Happy Birthday to us!

In the last two months...

PSD (me!) turned 25,
Allison turned 26,
GFF turned 25,
Alyssa had the 10th anniversary of her 21st birthday,
Courtney turned 26,
Outside Oklahoma turned 23,
Laura turned 25.

Not to mention a good friend of mine turned 24 the day before me. If I've forgotten anyone let me know : ) - it's hard to keep track of!

It blows me away that we've all shared birthdays in less than two months! I know all those url's from heart (well almost) but had no idea about the birthdays. If you haven't read these, quick go read so that we can do a birthday bash one of these years : ) !

For all of the birthday girls, a birthday cake just for you:

Symphonies, Classical Music, Beethoven, and Long Songs

Brando called blog rights to this, but I'm beating him to it - partially so we don't forget. : ) Tonight on the way home from parent orientation at J's new school (SO excited!) J asked Brando why songs are so short. His answer was that most of them have lyrics and that you can't really write anything meaningful that goes on for some time. Then he explained that symphonies do have long songs and found a radio station that just happened to have a special where they were playing Beethoven. In silence enveloped in music we listened the highs and the lows of one of his masterpieces (and I'm sure Brando could tell you which one). Five minutes later it ended and Brando turned the radio down and asked J if he liked it. J says yes and Brando asked why. J says, "Because it went loud, loud, LOUD, then quiet, quiet, quiet, then loud, loud, LOUD, then more quiet." Having never listened to classical music before that I know of (I know, bad mommy!) I was blown away by his description.

We had had a discussion about him taking music versus art on the way to orientation and I was very adamant that we encourage his passions, his loves, i.e. art, while Brando thinks it would really be beneficial for him to learn about music, kids do better in school when they know music, etc. After listening to the Beethoven music, J pipes up quietly in the back, "I would rather take music than art, Mom." Okay you got me. Then he asks Brando if he can download those songs for his Ipod. Which is why I currently have Septet in E Flat Major playing in the background as I type this.

I turned to Brando and said you just introduced him to symphonies, classical music, and Beethoven on the ride home, how cool is that?

S stayed with M for the evening and was in a goofy mood when we got home. He whispered in my ear, "I farted two times and they [M and her sister] plugged their noses." as he giggled. Later he was in the shower and called me and pointed to the shower and said, "Mom, this is too hot for my tummy." pointing to the shower again, "This is too hot for my tummy." So I turned it colder and he says, "Whew, that's nice."

Candy Apples

Ever feel you're sweet on the outside and a little bit sour on the inside? That's pretty much how I feel right now.

Speaking of candy apples... I made apple pie apples for our girls night out last night. We went to the The Mad Potter to paint pottery. Just a few of us showed up and we had chocolate covered strawberries and those caramel covered dipped in white chocolate and rolled in cinnamon sugar apples, talked a lot about our inept skills at painting, a trip two of the girls just got back from, work, and painted.



On the way home I couldn't get our rental Trailblazer's interior lights to turn off and so was very conscious of my every move as everybody could see it! That and making sure I could see outside around me. That's a good allegory too. I feel like I'm driving around at night with the interior lights on. Heh.



I'm off to lunch with a friend today - the one whose birth I was there for. I'm so excited to see her!! I've seen her the last couple of Sundays and held her adorable little baby. This last Sunday he had a HUGE blow out which ran down his leg on to my white skirt! I could barely contain my laughter and as soon as the two of us and him were out of there I burst out laughing. She couldn't believe I wasn't upset. Girl! I've had two babies and countless nieces and nephews, I am SO over it. We were in the bathroom she wrapping a blanket around him trying to contain the mess and me with baby wipes wiping the poopy into a faint yellow circle (it did come out in the wash). Later he was in his carseat all ready to go and I tickled his toes and told him how cute he was and a guy talking to his mom and dad tells him that's pretty amazing for him to poop on me and still say he's cute. Hehe.

I DO know

There's so much swimming in my head right now you don't even want to know. But I need some theraupetic writing right now so just skip this post if you don't want to hear it. There's so much going on right now I am excited for MOST of it. I'm having this weird thing I've never come across before where I enjoy spending time with my hubby with friends more than I do spending time alone with him!! It really scares me because I've noticed people who have hard relationships are so concerned about spening time with other people they dont' take time for themselves. Hubby and I went on a date Saturday and geez it felt like pulling teeth!!! We went to dinner, I don't even remember where, painted pottery which WAS fun even though I made fun of his colors he picked to paint me well not made fun just pointed out they didn't match my house so where was I going to point it and got crap for that *sigh*, then went to a movie which we couldn't agree on. We finally went to the one I wanted to go to which I felt horrible for and then went home and crashed at 1am despirte a quiet house with no kiddos i.e. room for noise if you catch my drift.

Usually it's the other way around where I'm desperate to have alone time with JUST him so that we can just sit back and be a family. Lately thoughts keep running through my head - who could we invite that would be fun and would want to go with us to do what we're doing. And I usually come up with somebody!! In the past I might think that as a fleeting thought and then think oh no, it'll be much more fun with just us. I haven't acted on it yet, but I'm getting close to it!

Maybe it's NOT a bad thing, but it kind of scares me that I'd rather spend time with somebody outside my family than my own family. Having somebody else there cushions the tension between Brando and I lately and we're forced to just have fun and not worry about arguing. I think we've gotten so good at NOT arguing in front of people that for me it's just easier to be in front of people : ) . Otherwise we're arguing!! Argh.

In other news we got another gecko today. I'm not sure when I became the mom of adolescent teenage boys but I guess I did. Any way first gecko cute. Second one not. First gecko desperately wanted by S. Second gecko just because. I'm all about reasons. And with no reason he's the redheaded stepchild in my eyes. I'm not sure if that's horrible or not but I just don't have any emotional energy left over. I hardly feel like I have any for my marriage relationship right now.

Fall Back

I am where you'll usually find me on a hot weekday afternoon. On my computer listening to my Ipod drowning out the noise of my children. I sound like a horrible mother when I say that but in a two bedroom there aren't many places to go where I can have quiet. The laundry room with the washer going isn't very inviting so music is my quiet for now.

Speaking of a two bedroom my hope was we'd be out of here into a real house by now. That won't be the case for awhile. I'm sad but trying to accept it. That does get me thinking about painting. Painting would get rid of this horrible paint they've used that collects fingerprints and add some color to these white walls. Might as well get all my practice out on an apartment!

Brando has started his own blog, web site, and photo album. I've been blogging for two years and have put up less than five pictures of our faces total. Never mentioned our names yet he's blogged for a week and has both. Oh well. I'm not going to share the link here though you're welcome to email me for it!



I am missing my home. Santa Cruz. Home is where the heart is and though my heart is here a small piece of it is still there. Santa Cruz County Fair is coming up and S keeps asking when we get to go the place where the girl painted on his face again. Brando has said he'd be fine with us going out to Cali to visit. I'm debating whether I should cause such an uproar when I'm trying so hard to support him in his business and in life. I think I'm home sick. I know this is where our home is now and I want to make it that way. I don't want to confuse things by going back and forth. Never mind my children being confused, but me! I don't often ask for advice on matters of the heart but I'd love to hear what you guys think.

Listening to

Texas Angel, HoneyBrowne

You Won't Believe This

We got hit AGAIN. This time Brando was driving and we were going through a green light and a guy was making a uturn. Fortunently Brando saw him and swerved to the right so he only side swiped the front left side of our car, otherwise he would've t-boned us. Two different cars pulled over behind us to say we had the green light and gave us their numbers and stayed for a bit before they took off. This time we called the police who talked to both the witnesses, us, and the guy, and wrote the other driver a ticket for making an illegal uturn. He was trying to say he had a green arrow but the officer said the lights don't work that way. As my friend pointed out how weird that we had two accidents in the same month, both where the other guy was trying to be manipulative in their story. Any way that was #3. Accident #1, Ticket #2, and Accident #3. Plus it's the third accident our BRAND NEW CAR has been in - the first was the day we bought it on Brando and his Mom's drive out here to Texas with it and the van - so hopefully that will be it for now.

In other news I finally started the ball on something God's put on my heart for awhile. Our class needs a curriculum coordinator and for some reason the first time they mentioned it, I thought oh I could do that. I waited awhile before I mentioned it to anyone else hoping someone else would step up. No one did. Then Brando said why don't we do it together? So today we talked about the logistics of it, with me being the coordinator and him being my right hand support and I called the leader of our class and asked what Brando said to ask, "When's orientation?" Hehe. Scary!

Cute Sweet

On being a man: "No I'm not. I'm not a growin up. That's why I'm not the man."

On working out with weights: "I made pushups [Tinker Toy dumbbells] so we don't have to go to the business center."

On having lettuce in his hamburger: "Please don't order lettuce in my hamburger because every time I take it out because I won't eat it and I don't like it."

On bending over to have his popo wiped: "I don't want to be here all day."

On his gecko and his new gecko book: "Please draw a red and green gecko in here for me on this front page and the back page."

Lakehouse Pictures

Gorgeous House on the river


More of the gorgeous houses surrounding the cove


An arch we went through. This reminded me of the storybook ride at Disneyland. I loved that!


That's real water skiing and it's ME! I can't believe I got up AND skiied.


Saturday night dinner yum!


Pretty day


Floating in the river


Leading down to the dock... this picture was taken from the back deck where we grilled


My sexy hubby

More pictures are at my flickr site.