*random photos of the boys' Valentine's parties & my flowers from Brando for V Day to make the reading bearable*
Sent February 10, 2011Hi girls,
Because I'm sick and tired about lamenting about my physical inabilities lately, I thought I'd send you an email rather than a phone conversation where I pretend nothing is wrong because I don't want to whine about myself again.
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Monday morning I got up after a phone conversation and couldn't stand up straight due to lower back pain. I don't know why. The only things I can think of are my recent ventures into rock climbing and then shoving a dresser around by myself on Saturday, perhaps it could've been several phone conversations with stressful news where I absolutely didn't watch my posture. The only time I've ever had lower back pain is when I was pregnant with Shawnes, and I am not pregnant. No matter.
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I went to the doctor on Tuesday to do what FINALLY healed my back after a month of pain when I injured it working out two years ago. So hopefully I am spearheading the pain this time and won't be out of commission for a month like last time. Regardless, I've definitely been out of commission this week and am SO PISSED because one of my very closest friends is going away in a few days for a while, and another friend is moving in a few months, so my time with them? Non-existent at this point. Not to mention even less time with other girlfriends.
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Last week, I took a self-imposed need to make sure life is in order time. Since then, I feel like it's being forced upon me - first with the snow day, then Justinbustin being sick, and now my back, and I am none too happy about it.
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I hope you all can forgive me for not being available this week like I so wanted to be. Promise this will be the only whine email you will hear - all from the comfiness of my bed (which, by the way, did you know comfiness can get annoying?). Feel free to send chocolate, flowers, and hugs my way :) . In the meantime, I hope you'll forgive me as I have nothing to give right now.
xo
Update sent February 16, 2011Hi girls,
While I wrote this email to Jae last night after I neglected to get back to her when she offered to bring us dinner last Sunday and then sent another email to check up on me, and so it's written as if to her and may be a little confusing, but I thought you'd appreciate the update as well.
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The weekend went well and I was on my way to recovery. Then, on Monday, the boys had Valentine's parties. I normally always go to their parties and help out if I can, and thought I was doing well enough to do so this time. Only I ended up helping out with Shawner's for two hours, bending over the whole time. Still, I convinced myself that I would be fine. Not so this morning. I realized today that Brandon took care of me over the weekend which was why I was on my way to recovering. I don't take very good care of myself I'm realizing, tending to overdo it way too soon.
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I am definitely feeling cooped up. I had a few good sobs today, and am sure there will be more tomorrow. I really, really dislike feeling this way. On top of that, the meds continue to make me loopy and are starting to break me out worse than I've ever seen.
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But! I am trying to keep my head up. KT brought me chocolate and flowers on Saturday - actually we ended up running into her at the massage place on total accident and she had them in her car, about to bring them over to me. Brando had set up the massage in the first place, so both of those were heartening, as well as your email, and Li had offered to bring me chocolate martinis on Friday (I skipped girls night last week, and will this week as well as we changed the day for Valentine's Day) - though I declined as I don't think alcohol and what I'm taking would do well). On Sunday, I was able to say goodbye in person to my friend who is leaving for a month, and am grateful to have seen her before she left. I've been on facebook a bit, and chatted with one other friend.
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The thing about stress like this is it can make all other problems seem way bigger, and that is what is happening today. Difficulties with Justinbustin at school, Brando's work, careless things at home the kids forgot to do, even just managing dinner and groceries - which is why, I just realized, I definitely should've taken you up on your offer! Brando and I are at each other's throats again tonight, which doesn't help matters, but the matters don't help it either, so it's just more stress.
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As an update to this email from last night, I am trying to be good about taking everything way easy and take care of myself as if Brando were taking care of me, even when he's not here. I took Advil a few hours ago, so I'm not really sure if I feel good or I just can't feel most of it. Any way, I will continue taking what I'm supposed to take until everything stops hurting. I haven't broke down in tears yet today, so that's a plus!
5 Comments:
Sorry to hear that you've been going through such a rough time. I'll be praying that you're feeling well soon and that life quickly gets back to normal.
Beautiful Valentine's photos, by the way. :)
Dearest :(
let me know if you need anything dropped off/picked up/errands run.
I hope you feel better soon.
Happy Belated Valentine's day
Oh girl! I am so sorry about your back. :( I hope your body heals soon. I think sometimes the universe forces us into downtime for a little while ... to think? To set ourselves straight? (Literally, in your case. ;)
Also, have to agree with @Sonya -- these pictures are gorgeous.
Love to you, Rose!
Xo,
Tolly
aww love, sorry to hear about your back. Hope that it gets better soon! I'm sending you hugs and love your way. Love the beautiful pictures. Happy belated V-day. Get better soon!
<3 Ash
Sonya - Thanks, girl - for the prayers and compliment! Normal would be nice. Fortunately after an in-depth conversation with my sister we figured out my mattress is ten years old and could be the source of the problem. Brando has been complaining about it for a year and it sags where we sleep. We've ordered a new one, and are sleeping sideways on our current mattress until the new one comes in to remedy the problem. After the first night of sleeping that way I was pain free until 1pm. Today I've been able to function, though still in pain. I'm excited to see how having a new mattress improves the problem!
Linda - Thanks, girl. Brando's been an angel taking care of me on his days off and my sister has been helping out some. I will let you know if I need anything else. And am looking forward to lunch with you when life gets back to normal! Happy Belated Valentine's Day to you, too, girl.
Tolly - Thanks, girl, on both accounts. Yes, I have absolutely been forced to have downtime and am totally reevaluating life and my priorities similar to your recent blog post again as a result.
Ashley - Thanks, girl. Loving the hugs and love - I need all I can get right now. And happy belated Valentine's day to you!
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