Somedays

Somedays I just don't like being a mom. Like the days when both the kids have off school and I am reminded of what a tornado my house was when both of them were home all the time. The constant noise where I want to plug an ipod in my ears and turn it up so I can't hear a thing but the music. Like when the dog we are watching runs off and the kids take off after him halfway down the half mile long sidewalk before I finally catch up with them and talk the dog very firmly into stopping. Like when I lecture my kids on not CHASING dogs when you want them to come back. They think it's a game and run even faster. You have to get a treat or tell them firmly to stop (of course, sometimes that doesn't work either and then you're sol). Like when my oldest says it's the baddest day ever because I got on their case for chasing the dog so far away from their house. Really, really?! What about the last 4 hours or the next 6, are those the baddest ever, too? I get SO po'd when they try to pull that Mom guilt on me!! Like when we come back from the chase and I tell them play time is over it's chore time to get the house ready to have a nice enjoyable weekend at home, and they say we haven't even played yet!! What the hell do you call the last four hours of wrestling, noys, and messes then?! Sheesh.

Okay, I'm over it. Still annoyed as shit, but over it. On to chores and making the house pretty so we can actually relax and play this weekend without worrying about it!

Learning How to Discipline

We're in the middle of transferring responsibility to Justinbustin for his homework and book reports. With all the homeschooling and part time schooling we've done with him he's gotten so used to having his teacher at home that he has grown to lean on us to get done what he needs to get done. Now he's learning to be responsible for knowing what he needs to get done and accomplishing that on his own. It's a tough battle, but he's doing great.

On a somewhat related note, the lady he carpools with drives me nuts. On one hand she's fabulous because she has totally helped me figure out this whole public school thing and that homework needs to be a priority and he needs to treat it with priority just as if he were homeschooling or in part time school. My neighbor was the one who helped me figure out it's best to have him do it immediately after school so he can have the rest of the afternoon to play. On the other hand, the lady we carpool with is accusing my son of lying a LOT. I haven't figured out yet if she's opening my eyes or judging my kid. First of all, Justinbustin is a sneaker. Always has been. Not in a malicious way. He's too smart for his own good and will try to pull a fast one on you if you let him, i.e. my mom doesn't let me eat [insert whatever you want here]. You always have to be one step ahead of him. Well, this lady has boiled it down to him lying.

It could be it's hard for me to hear. And in the case of homework it's been true. At least in the sense he hasn't thought through his answer before he gives it to us. "Is your homework done?" "Yes." "Okay, reading, mad minutes, math homework...?" "Oh. I forgot math homework." That had to stop, which is why we're working on it now. I don't know if what is bothering me is that I can't handle the fact that my angel baby might be doing something wrong thus making him a bad person. Of course! he's not a bad person if he lies or tries to pull fast ones on us, it's something we need to PARENT him on, not get angry with him for. Still I can't help being angry with him or SOMEbody, I'm still not sure who.

The other thing that bothers me about the lady he carpools with is I hate, hate, hate (yes, that's a strong word and I've chosen to use it) how her own son is with her. He's whiny and avoidy and doesn't make eye contact with her and "slithers" (it's the best way to put it) around when she asks him to do something. If it was me? I'd be all like, "Boy you better do what I asked you to do right now or you are in the naug*ty chair a-sap (thanks Super Nanny)." He totally drives me NUTS!! That says something of her interaction with him right? So now that my son is spending four hours of his week with her is he starting to act the same way with her? And when he comes home trying to pull it off with me? Or is this more of me blaming someone else for something that was there already and I need to deal with?

I take this boy's sister to school and pick her up and take her home afterwards with Shawners as part of our carpool. When I first had the two of them in the car together they would bicker and fight, talk ugly to each other and be mean. The girl would irritate Shawners on purpose and Shawners would react by doing it back. At first we worked on having games and books to occupy them on the drive which worked okay as long as they were playing by the rules of the game. Finally the other day I got sick of it and belted out a little speech, "Shawners and Girl it is YOUR responsibility to be kind to each other when you are together. Shawners when Girl says stop it is YOUR responsibility to stop the first time, and Girl when Shawners asks you not to do something it is YOUR responsibility not to do it. Girl, when you want to ask Shawners something it is YOUR responsibility to ask in a nice manner, and Shawners it is YOUR responsibility to respond in a nice manner." I've had to repeat the speech once or twice but now they are working on writing a story together, with all of us carpool people in it, beautifully and cooperatively.

Not to pat my own back, but isn't that how the tune should go back at where Justinbustin's staying? Is he so bad that I have to step in and come down hard on my end and ground him for the last two weeks from playing, like I have, so he'll get his homework and book report done there? Put my kid on a freakin' time out for all I care. Sit him down and tell him homework is what you are doing and if you do any different you won't be allowed the privilege of playing while you're at my house. Tell him it's not my responsibility to know your homework, when you come here you get your homework done, that's what you do, and I'm not the one that needs to be telling you to do that.

Groceries on a Budget without Coupons

So somehow we have managed to grocery shop with $110 for two weeks at a time by shopping ad items only. The first time we tried it we had a couple fill-in items from before, and the $110 lasted us the whole two weeks. This time around I spent $110 again by saving $50 with ad items and in-store coupons. I am so too lazy to use coupons I actually have to bring.

When the ads for our two local grocery stores come in the mail on Wednesdays I go through and write down all the things I might possibly buy along with their prices. Then, I go through those items with Brando (thanks, honey, for being a coworker on this) and we cull out any unnecessary items like the three desserts I'll more than likely have on there, or the tons of meat that somehow ends up on the list. After my list is pared down I create meals out of the items that are left and throw a few of the basics on the list.

When that's done I total up what the items we're buying is going to cost us and make sure the total cost doesn't equal more than $10 per each individual dinner. If we have lunches, snacks, breakfasts, and other items in there as has been the case the last two times, score!

So NOT Suzy Homemaker

Gah. I'm baking cookies for Justinbustin's Valentine's party at his school and have discovered that store bought sugar cookie dough is not the key to making perfectly shaped sugar cookies. In fact they make for more like heart blobs instead of heart cookies. Two tries later and we have perfect heart cookies. Unfortunately that was the only one that was absolutely perfect. The rest came out okay, some look more like heart butts than others, but it will work. Next time this suzy homemaker is going to HEB for pre-made cookies. Or going the recommended (after the fact) route of making my own sugar cookie dough recipe. Remind me not to sign up for the cookie decorating table next go around : ) .

Productive Saturday

So this is what a productive Saturday feels like. The next few weekends are so packed, but we don't have anything planned until this evening so Brando decided to sit down and do taxes. I decided to implement weekly chores that the boys get paid for, but have to do regardless. So far my porch and verandah has been swept, living room, kitchen, and boys room vacuumed, and my kitchen is about to be mopped. I'm out a few bucks, but they deserve it. They get a pay scale that ranges from .25 for an okay job to .75 for an excellent job. I started charging them for leaving their toys and clothes all over the house and living room. I charge from .25 for not flushing the toilet to .50 for toys and clothes left in the living room. It's totally effective, but I decided I better give them a regular way to earn money, besides the every other month windfalls of money from doing something simple for Grandma and Grandpa.

Moment

The boys in their room, Justinbustin, now nine, and Shawners, now seven, working on a project taping together two empty oatmeal boxes and taping paper to the outside creating who knows what. Music from Justinbustin's ipod playing softly Jeremy Camp in the background. A sweet brotherly moment I witnessed for a few minutes of total teamwork, accompanied by soft music,  as I realized tomorrow I will blink and they will be all grown up. Less than four years now until Justinbustin's voice changes, less than six when he will turn into the man he is becoming and the adult he will be, and less than eight when he will be considered an adult by law.

My third nephew that lives out here is the last one to turn into an adult amongst his brothers, and I have freaked him out a few times in the past few days by acting like the crazy aunt who can't believe how much he has grown. I talked to him on the phone today and sat in shocked silence for about four minutes while I listened to his changing voice that sounded so much like his brother did just a year or two ago. His brother, whose voice I now mistake for his father on the phone all the time. Who is more of a man than any other sixteen year old I have met, runs his own business, bought his own car, and who is now about to be seventeen. My eyes widen in shock every time I see those boys realizing when we moved here the second time, only three and a half years ago now, the youngest was the age Justinbustin is now, and I realize how very close my boys are to becoming grown ups of their own.

Growing up at the speed of light

I just talked to my 9 1/2 year old about pu *berty after noticing his upper lip area is darker than the rest of his face. Holy sh*t. When I throw things in as a conversational bit and don't make a big deal about it they accept it as part of life that just is. While I walk away reeling.

Why is it they are SO different?

Friday was the day I broke down because my son's room was a disaster, and the day I received acupuncture for the first time. Coincidence? Not.

My oldest son, the sweetest, most generous, thoughtful, kind child in the world (along with his brother) has a slight organization problem. Maybe it's not an organization problem, because he can be damn well organized when he wants to be, maybe it's a how-to-keep-the-clutter-from-building-up-and-taking-over problem. See, I have the same problem. A little fairy called Flylady has taken me babysteps to being able to make "our house beautiful" in the words of Shawners in forty-five minutes, fifteen minutes in each main room and that includes vacuuming and dusting. That's been seven years in coming. Justinbustin, on the other hand, has had to deal with a Mommy during those seven years who doesn't quite know how to teach him what she's only recently learned herself. When I ask him to take care of it he melts down. I melt down.

Fortunately, my ever wonderful sister came to the rescue. Not only did she calm me down and make me go relax, she cleaned off Justinbustin's desk (yes, people, this was his DESK - imagine a very cluttered floor of a child's room. Now pile it all on one desk. That was it) with him and Shawners. She talked to them about how different her three boys are. She told them how one of them did not know how to keep his belongings upkept and his brother, who it came naturally to to be organized and uncluttered, helped teach  him how. So she asked my little Shawners if he could help teach Justinbustin what comes naturally to Shawners. My mind was blown at her perspective on the matter.

Afterwards, my sister mentioned when we get stressed our creative juices stop flowing and offered to send me to acupuncture to help me relax. With all the events I have going on lately of all three of our parents coming to visit, still having to stay on top of the kids home school, a play the kids have coming up, sports, cub scouts, my school, social time, not to mention ME, I'm just a tad stressed. Last year, her mother-in-law asked my sister to "let her go"  before they discovered acupuncture to help her arthritis pain. This year Brando's been using acupuncture for allergies and his allergies are like night and day from before. So I figured why not? I'm deathly afraid of needles, but I've been told the needles are thinnner than a hair and are actually blunt. They technically push the skin aside, versus the ones with the sharper point that tear the skin.

When I went in the lady seemed very professional and concerned. She asked me a MILLION questions, which in itself was relaxing. She showed me how they put the needle in thru a tube and tap it in only about a quarter of an inch at first. I thought I could handle that with a few breathing exercises. She ended up putting seven in me. The last one she put in my chest. I'm not sure if the crying that resulted for ten minutes was from the fact that I had SEVEN needles in me or if it really was an emotional release. Usually when I cry I save it all up and I bawl. This was like a Hollywood cry with cute sniffles and tears flowing down my cheeks. My body also shook for twenty minutes, pretty sure nerves covered that one. Afterwards I was MUCH more relaxed. I wasn't sure if it was from the acupuncture or the fact that I'd had an hour and a half alone time with someone to talk to. I'm sure it was both but the acupuncture probably helped the feeling last a little longer and took the edge off my nerves even for today. I'd definitely do it again!

Learning Lessons

Sometimes I hate that I have had NO experience with sports, scouts, leagues, or, really, anything concerning groups as a kids. I'm expected to know these things with my kids and I don't have the first clue!! I just bought Justinbustin a mouthguard for his flag footbal team last week. Today we thought he lost it so we ran around trying to find another - but they're all sold out because all the sport leagues are starting up right now. We got home and found his, then tried to "custom fit" it like all the guys kept telling me it was so easy to do. Well there WAS a space for him to be able to breathe even with it in his mouth before we placed it in boiling water and stuck it in his mouth to custom fit it, but there isn't anymore. Apparently that part melts without keeping the little (harder) plastic part that keeps it from melting together in it. D'oh! Now I have to hunt down a new one. I feel like Dads should be the stay-at-home parent with boys because I have no idea I'm doing.