Sloooow Month

So my plans for these first two weekends fell thru, and while I have immediately filled them up with tons of other FUN plans, since the plans were more last minute, it has been less anticipation, and made the month go by sooo much slower. I can't decide if I like it or not.

The boys also both officially got out of school last week, and are in VBS this week which has given me three solid hours every morning to do whatever the hell I want with. At first I was depressed I didn't have work, school volunteering, or end of the year activities to do. Then, I fully embraced it and decided to enjoy the time while I have it. Which led to working out almost every day with my neighbor who's also a personal trainer I discovered, getting my fall school schedule and financial aid settled, checking off a list I created at the beginning of the week to complete this week, going to Barton Springs with Brando, KT, and her sis Ande, then going to see a ballet production on the hillside theatre, getting stormed out and driving thru a hail storm, lightning, and high winds on the way home to the kids, then going to a baseball game with the boys with free season pass seats from my neighbors and getting stormed out again (not til' the ninth inning though). At least this time we left before we had to drive thru a storm to get home.

Still, as much as I HAVE been doing, this month has been CRAWLING at a snails pace. I'm so ready for next weekend and tubing with KT, because I've pushed it off enough for other plans that FELL THROUGH and I told her NO MORE pushing it off. I think I've learned my lesson there. Which is, of course, anything with KT is more fun, more affordable, and will actually happen than other things like work or going to the beach. At least I won't be broke when we go now! Whoo hoo!

Thank God for VBS

The boys have been in VBS all week and I have gotten a shitload done despite being broke. Hoping I'll get just as much or more done in these next two days.

Family Night

I had to laugh last night when Jillian asked me if it was just me and my boys or if I had a man, too. Granted she only discovered our group, and thus my blog, a few days ago and had only known me for an hour. But, still, it made me laugh. It also made me think back on how this blog has evolved with me. When I first started all I had to post about was my kids, and my hubby. And post about them I did. From family weekends to homeschool days to dinner at night. That was my life. Not anymore. Since about three years ago this blog followed me from being a stay at home mom going to a working mom. From being a shy, insecure girl to being a bold, firm, woman. Okay I'm not THAT bold and THAT firm, but a hell of a lot more firm and bold than I used to be and I darn well will say what I need and want to say when I need and want to say it. I rarely mention my kids and my hubby anymore because they don't define me. That doesn't mean I love them any less. I love them more, actually! I am so happy as a person (usually, except when I go thru changes and have to fight my way thru being depressed back to the happy person I am!!) that I have so much more to give back to them. At the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, in between. I'm still cranky sometimes, but I don't take it out on them that they're all I give to so why should I be treated this way! I don't give everything to them anymore. I give a lot to me. I give a lot to my hubby. And I give a lot to my kids. But I make darn well sure that I am taken care of first. 

Well, I didn't mean to get all philosophical on you. I actually meant to tell you about my evening, sort of to prove this point. We got home this afternoon after a doctor's appointment where I found out Justinb has chiggers and a bad allergic reaction to them - not poison ivy, like I originally thought. Thank God! The boys did their chores, cleaned their room, drew me pictures,

played sweetly as all heck for two hours in their room with their legos and snorkel gear (um, yes, that's not a typo) AND their door closed. Hallelujah, quietness! Then their friend came to the door and asked if they could play and off they went to play baseball upstairs. I oh so very domestically made some artichokes for an afternoon snack (mostly because artichokes and avocados are the only two veggies Shawners will eat) and took them upstairs along with my iced coffee to watch them play. Before I went up there I called my good friend JenH to see if she wanted to sit out there and watch them with me. She brought her own iced coffee and sat and chatted with me for a good hour while our boys played baseball. Later, one of her boys spotted Justinb's teacher, Jo, driving up to her place. So I texted Jo to see if she wanted to join us. She texted back "On my way!" and brought cherries along with her. We chatted for the next hour before Brando got home and joined us for another hour. We didn't end up coming in until 7:30pm when I made pan-seared sirloin and rice pilaf for dinner, with angel food shortcake and strawberries for dessert. So there's my undomesticated domesticated girlie life that I absolutely love.

Dinnertime Conversations

For Christmas my sister gave me one of the best gifts I have ever received. It's a circle shaped tin with a stack of cards inside with a picture of a penny on one side and on the other side a conversation starter to help parents and young children connect. It's called Penny for your Thoughts. For the past six months, every time we have sat down to dinner we have pulled this out at the end of dinner and spent twenty to thirty minutes chatting over five to ten questions.

Here are tonight's Penny for your Thoughts' inspired conversations:

"Name 3 blessings in your life."

Justinb: A good education, parents, and the opportunity to go to college.

Shawners: My Mom, my Dad, and my good friend, Travis.

Brando and I: each person in my family.

"What do you suppose being successful means?"

Justinb: When they have done what they wanted to do, or almost done what they wanted to do. He then quoted something about Thomas Edison.

Shawners: I don't know.

Me: I like Justinb's answer so much, I'm going with it.

Brando: Making a goal and meeting it, in everything in life.

"Tell me about God."

Shawners: He...

helps people with stuff.

loves everyone.

always sees what you say and knows what you say.

knows if you're going to hell or heaven.

everyone loves him. Except for some people. Like Satan.

Somedays

Somedays I just don't like being a mom. Like the days when both the kids have off school and I am reminded of what a tornado my house was when both of them were home all the time. The constant noise where I want to plug an ipod in my ears and turn it up so I can't hear a thing but the music. Like when the dog we are watching runs off and the kids take off after him halfway down the half mile long sidewalk before I finally catch up with them and talk the dog very firmly into stopping. Like when I lecture my kids on not CHASING dogs when you want them to come back. They think it's a game and run even faster. You have to get a treat or tell them firmly to stop (of course, sometimes that doesn't work either and then you're sol). Like when my oldest says it's the baddest day ever because I got on their case for chasing the dog so far away from their house. Really, really?! What about the last 4 hours or the next 6, are those the baddest ever, too? I get SO po'd when they try to pull that Mom guilt on me!! Like when we come back from the chase and I tell them play time is over it's chore time to get the house ready to have a nice enjoyable weekend at home, and they say we haven't even played yet!! What the hell do you call the last four hours of wrestling, noys, and messes then?! Sheesh.

Okay, I'm over it. Still annoyed as shit, but over it. On to chores and making the house pretty so we can actually relax and play this weekend without worrying about it!

Afternoon Delights

Pineapple, mango, peach and raspberry smoothies.

Iced Kona coffee.

Yellow tank top.

Jean mini-skirt.

Cork wedges.

Sitting in the sunshine.

Feeling the sun on my legs.

Shawn's garden of morning glories, yellow flowers, strawberry plants, & lily pads.

Life is full

After arriving home from the airport on Monday week before last I went straight to girls' night and Brando took Justinb to football practice. Tuesday I went to work after dropping off the boys at both their schools. Tuesday evening I'm pretty sure I slept. Wednesday I homeschooled Shawners all day and probably did the same thing that evening. Thursday was more work and school, then Brando took the boys to cub scouts while I unpacked with wine and a girlfriend. Friday night was another home relaxation night. On the weekend Justinb had his first game, we went home and slept, then went with some friends to a passover seder dinner at their church. Afterwards they came over for wine and chatting and ended up spending the night (they are the closest things the kids have to an aunt and uncle out here besides my sis and three boys, and the closest thing Brando has to a brother). We made a huge yummy breakfast when we woke up then they went off to church and we went off to take bluebonnet pictures. We came home, took a nap, dressed up for REAL bluebonnet pictures and went back out.

The week was full of work, school, and girls night on Monday, work, school, and dinner with a friend on Tuesday, work, school, and a date with Brando on Wednesday, work, school, and WOW down time Thursday, only we went to get a TV from a friend. Friday we had fajitas and margaritas in the hot tub with Kels while the kids watched Marley and Me inside the house. Saturday Justinb had another game, then Brando took the boys camping while I spent the day at the pool with M with lime*ade and vodka, then over to Kels again for beer in the hot tub with a few of her friends from her small group and then spent the night at her house. We woke up in the morning, made yummy breakfast tacos, and finished watching Marley and Me, then I headed back home for more pool time (and sunburn) with M. Brando and the boys got home, then he took off for WWF with the guys.

That's just what I remember as I'm sitting here.

Today, work, school, and I'm off to girl time, but you know what I don't have anything planned the rest of the week until this weekend. Granted, the boys still have cub scouts Thursday night and I'm doing my thing tonight so that leaves us only two nights, but for the moment they are free and I am relieved.

Groceries on a Budget without Coupons

So somehow we have managed to grocery shop with $110 for two weeks at a time by shopping ad items only. The first time we tried it we had a couple fill-in items from before, and the $110 lasted us the whole two weeks. This time around I spent $110 again by saving $50 with ad items and in-store coupons. I am so too lazy to use coupons I actually have to bring.

When the ads for our two local grocery stores come in the mail on Wednesdays I go through and write down all the things I might possibly buy along with their prices. Then, I go through those items with Brando (thanks, honey, for being a coworker on this) and we cull out any unnecessary items like the three desserts I'll more than likely have on there, or the tons of meat that somehow ends up on the list. After my list is pared down I create meals out of the items that are left and throw a few of the basics on the list.

When that's done I total up what the items we're buying is going to cost us and make sure the total cost doesn't equal more than $10 per each individual dinner. If we have lunches, snacks, breakfasts, and other items in there as has been the case the last two times, score!

Flying High * Flying Low

Flying High

*Applying for my FAFSA and being told by the financial aid office they don't need any verification and she can tell by the code on my acceptance that I will be getting some of the P*LL grant

*Brando leading in the top two for sales in his district

*Doing Ry & Genie's engagement portraits in downtown Aust*n and seeing Genie clap with glee upon seeing them

*Having a full day of leisurely pleasure for Valentine's Day with Brando and I

*Grocery shopping on ad and spending $110 for two weeks worth of breakfast, lunches, and dinners for four

Flying Low

*My car freaking out this morning by beeping at me and then, my trunk not opening. Then, this evening my gas cover not opening when I have only 40 miles of gas left (enough to get it to the shop).

*Brando being told he's being moved to another branch. Just as busy, but still, some normalcy and consistency would be nice.

*Brando coming down with whatever bug Shawners has had the last few days.

Valentine Soiree

My life has been a go-go-go of friends, family, school, and work, with hardly a break in between any of it lately. So when an opportunity came up to have champagne, sushi, and strawberries at a local clothing boutique as part of a free Valentine soiree I was all over it. With a friend. Well, when the three friends I invited couldn't make it for one reason or another after the previous invitee couldn't make it I decided I'd just stay home. As the boys got ready to head that direction this evening for cub scouts I changed my mind at the last minute and decided to go with them so I could drop them off and go all by my lonesome.

I had a fabulous time!! Drinking Brut Rose, eating chocolate covered strawberries drizzled with white chocolate, and california rolls, and shopping fabulous clothing including Voom, MM Couture, and Susana Monaco. I got asked if I was a student (thank you people who mention when you think people look young), and a homeless guy on the way out asked how I could look so pretty. I wanted to take him and his guitar for a drink. What made it even better was on the way home Li called to see if I wanted to come over for a soothe the nerves beer after a confrontation I had to have earlier today, and when I told her what I was up to she called shotgun on the next soiree. I'm all over that. I love life, and I love my friends. I'm also a little relieved and loving that I can still have such a good girlie time all by myself even after having so much girlie time.

Things I'm Grateful For

This transition back into the never. fuckin. ending. routine of life has me so down after the cheer and care free of the holidays that I thought I would write a list of things I'm grateful for and have enjoyed since break.

*Bike riding the Veloway (or attempting to any way and deciding we don't like roadies much when biking with two children)

*Reading while watching the boys bike the hills at Palmer Event Center

*Biking Town Lake and taking a picture of our family by the skyline

*Going wedding shopping with one of my fav girls Genie

*Girls nights with Li, M, and Ambs, making dinner together and watching the new Bachelor and our oldie but goodie Gossip Girl (we didn't get into the City)

*Touring our own downtown and taking fun pictures in yellow stringy things

*Dinner with my girl, KT, even tho it started in tears (something about tears this week, three of my friends and I have cried buckets. All on Monday, too)

*Creating my itinerary to Hawaii

*Thinking about girls weekends coming up, trips to Cali, and SUMMER

*Being asked to attend my good friend's second birth

*Being able to go on dates, even though we're clearly out of practice

*My child watching the inauguration at school

*4 hours at home by myself last Saturday

*Dinner with JaeWu last Saturday

Art Sculpture downtown on the UT Campus

The Domain

Truthfully all this happy time with Brando has me feeling a little nauseous. I need my girl time to balance me out! Although I have been having plenty of girl time I have had equal time with Brando thru my own effort thinking it would be good for him. I'm thinking either I'm adjusting to not having more girl time than I have with Brando or I just plain need more girl time to stay well balanced!! Hmm, typing that out may've just answered my own ponderings. I am spending more time with him for HIM, but I need to make sure I take care of myself. I am grateful for

*the opportunity to go out on dates with Brando, and that we make it a priority.

Growing up at the speed of light

I just talked to my 9 1/2 year old about pu *berty after noticing his upper lip area is darker than the rest of his face. Holy sh*t. When I throw things in as a conversational bit and don't make a big deal about it they accept it as part of life that just is. While I walk away reeling.

This Week

Sunday - Lazy, productive day. Slept in, made a big, yummy breakfast with maple sausage, eggs, season fried potatoes, oj and coffee. Went to a talk at our church on how to talk to your kids about sex. Some of the same stuff we've heard before i.e. talk to them from when they're itty bitty with medical terms, and explain sex at their level, but more about the telling them of the actual action than we've heard before. Had milkshakes from P. Terry's on our way home.

Monday - Had off from nannying. Homeschooled Shawn. Dropped off and picked up the boys at their respective sport lessons, Shawners to a multi sport lesson and Justinbustin to his tennis lesson. Girl night watching The Hills, and Gossip Girl, eating chicken salad with feta, raspberry pecans, cucumbers, garlic croutons, and balsamic viniagarette.

Tuesday - Nannied. Had lunch with Kel Bel and her little Leprechaun, then walked Zilker Park Botanical Gardens with both of them. Rushed home late for a harried late evening of labeling items for a consignment sale at the Palmer Event center this weekend.

Wednesday - Dropped off items at the Palmer Event center for the consignment sale and volunteered the four hours I'd signed up for months ago to see what was going on behind the scenes. Met up with Tina for dinner at Z Tejas and desert at 360 Primo!! Fun and yum!!

Thursday - Nannied. Had lunch with my sister at Potbelly. Picked up a friend of Shawners at his school and brought them home for a playdate. Tried desperately to get a hold of the mom who picked up Justinbustin, but never succeeded. Ended up picking him up right before a meeting for the upper math program he is in at his school (woot! here we go again. i swear this should he be in upper/lower programs question will never end). Paid him, Shawners, and Shawners' little friend to babysit themselves outside the room of the meeting. Met up with Shawners little friends' Mom at Chick-fil-a afterwards. Met Jen at another Chick-fil-a a few minutes later for a solid hour of friend talk that I sooooo needed after that day.

Friday - LOTS of schoolwork to do with Shawners today. Ugh. Feel overwhelmed. Thus I'm avoiding it on here.

Growing up around me

Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here. Sometimes I feel like I am living life day by day, trying to survive. We're doing the right thing with finances, but sometimes I wonder why we didn't buy that house down south. I've always lived on the edge - of everything. Now it feels like we're starting to get a handle on things. We're going to counseling, we've paid down a large amount of debt, we're moving into a place where we'll actually have a decent rent to income ratio, Justinbustin is going to a FREE school, Shawners is going into first grade, and I feel almost uncomfortable, like putting on a dress I could never afford to buy. It fits me, it looks great, but I sure as heck won't be walking out the door with it. In a sense not buying the house down south last year has me feeling like I'll never walk out the door with that dress. It feels like the families we know are growing up around us - getting to know their neighborhood around them, taking summer vacations, on the boat, to another state, even just to the beach - and here we are. Home. Struggling to even keep a roof over our heads and food on our plates. 

Busy World

Little update on life:

Boys are all set for school. I've been praying for them every night that they will have a teacher who loves God and is able to teach them to the best of their capabilities. Also, that they will have friends who love God and support them, especially one in particular, and ones they can support. I've set a schedule that includes having a breakfast date with Justinbustin every morning and one with Shawners on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I'll also have extra time with Shawners on those days for a date later in the day if we want!

Finances are shite. I sometimes get the feeling they always will be. We are doing okay in that we aren't adding more to our debt, and sometimes even paying more of it off (we're down to one credit card, but with still a large amount on it), but with all the inflation and gas prices lately we run out of money two days after pay day!! Today I had to take money out of our emergency fund in order to fill up my car and buy groceries for our Mother Hubbard cupboards.

Summer luvin' is good. We have spent a lo-hot (aka Dr. Cox style because I am currently obsessed with Scrubs) of time at the pool. The last week has been busy with robotics camp for the boys so yesterday and today we were back in, even amidst the tropical depression coming through our area. Yeah. The friend of mine that was here, her little one, the boys and I were in the pool while it was pouring (no thunder or lightning or we would've hightailed it out of there). Our hair was soaked, not from the pool, but from the rain. Awesome.

Brando and I are currently seeing a counselor every other week. Tomorrow is our second time. So far so good. We've set a few ground rules - no talking about what we talk about in counseling afterwards unless it's with the counselor the next time, not waste our time fighting in front of the counselor (yeah, we do that). I also mentioned to the counselor that we need a specific goal to work on when we leave - something constructive that gives us a common goal to work towards and not storming out of there angry with what was uncovered.

And just because...

Apparently I look like a ballerina when I frisbee golf

A more normal frisbee golf pose while playing with friends.
It was our first time and a blast, despite the melting hot heat!

Fireworks over downtown on the fourth of July

Blowing out birthday candles on my cupcake cake

My beautiful cupcakes my boys and Brando made me and
the real daisy cake his Mom sent me in the background.

My birthday cupcake cake

Just because it's adorable.
Justinbustin gazing out from the pedestrian bridge over Town Lake when my parents were here.

Not much to say

This week has been slow, but good. Our Nissan has a recall on it that we're fighting to make sure it's taken care of, so we've been juggling the cars a bit. A girlfriend and I went out Monday night for happy hour and cake afterwards downtown. Tuesday we grilled by the pool with a few friends for another friends birthday. Wednesday we discovered a few museums and parks around town. Today we're just chillin' but I need to get my arse moving here in a bit. Now if only I had some money to go get the things I need for the pool party tomorrow! Oh well, I get paid tomorrow so I'll be running around last minute.

Eating Out and Eating In

For seven years I have been the mother of strict as far as what comes into our house for snacks and hydration. The past three or four weeks I have realized more and more how much we need to eat in. Not only is the cost of food rising, but the cost of the gas to get to the food is rising.

The first four years of our marriage we ate at home on a $150/month budget religiously. When we moved to California we had more money than we knew what to do with and more crowded living conditions so much so that we made Kianti's our favorite dinner spot and money hoarder. When we moved back to Texas we continued that trend.

Our barreling car race of seeing how much we can spend eating out slowed down at the pace of a snail from eating out at elaborate places, to eating out at inexpensive places, to eating out at cheap places, to sharing a meal and only drinking water at cheap places, to eating more and more at home, until three years later I finally feel like we are starting to get some balance back.

One of the main reasons for this last baby step is I have started to buy drinks. When we go out if it's on a weekend we'll normally get one iced tea for Brando and I to share, and water for the boys. Somehow that iced tea completes the meal and makes spending the money to eat out seem worth it. Way back when I used to make iced tea at home, but at the moment that takes up too much time and is way too much of a pain in the butt so I've been buying Sweet Leaf Tea. I've also been buying crackers. Lots of yogurts. Occasionally chips and dip. Juice coolers. Things I've never, ever boughten before and certainly not on a regular basis. Of course all healthy and organic still : ) I won't deny my true roots, but snacks nonetheless.

A lot of these items tend to be on the expensive side because of what I'm buying. I get around that by buying whatever is on sale that week. That way I get to try something new and it's usually less expensive than the generic brand would be at my local grocery store. Oh, and I've been buying my meat at Costco to grill at the pool - usually healthy, super inexpensive, and tons of it.

I've actually been happy eating at home. The first time I realized that was last week when I didn't have money to grocery shop at the beginning of the week like I normally do and we had to do without the snacks and major source of protein that enables us to spend the evening at the pool grilling our dinners. Boy did we miss it. We pulled together a last minute grill out with a few friends last night despite having hardly anything, then this week I made up for it a little with yogurt smoothie drinks and ice cream cones to round out the deal. Slowly but surely we're making our way to a consistent healthy habit of eating at home and enjoying eating out once or twice on the weekends.

The Busy's Back

I spent the weekend working both Saturday and Sunday*, the last five hours cramming for my first exam for the semester, tomorrow will be spent all day in the sun at camp with the boys since I have to be there for Shawner's age, class is in the evening an hour after camp lets out, then more camp, homework, and class again on Wednesday. Fortunately it's all for a brief moment... until I work again next weekend.

*Some of you may be thinking you missed the memo about me working again. You didn't. That post is coming.

Breathe

You know that feeling when you've gone through a really really busy time of your life and all of a sudden *poof* it's over and you sort of don't know what to do with yourself anymore? That's where I'm at right now. The last three weeks involved a birthday party for a girlfriend, more sports games and practices than I care to mention (try 15+), class, homework, company (my parents, Brando's Mom, Brando's Dad and his wife ), homeschooling, studying for my finals, rehearsing for the kids play, the kids play, Grandparent's Day, mini golf, Roller Derby, Brando's birthday, Justinbustin's birthday, planning a baby shower, kayaking with Justinbustin and his friend, and I'm sure there's plenty I'm forgetting.

My final was today and that's a HUGE relief of every spare moment being taken up. Tomorrow is Justinbustin's birthday, the day after that is his final sports games, a birthday party for Shawners to attend, and the baby shower I'm helping to host. But even with all that, between all the company and studying for my final, then having those two over I feel like I'm able to breathe again. At the same time I like the go-go-go lifestyle. I thrive on it. My sister knows that and recommended I make some sort of plan for what I'm going to do with my time on break from school to keep from feeling depressed. So of course I'm looking for what to do next to keep my heart going. In fact, that's what I should be doing right now.

So I've been a little absent lately

I swear I'm just busy! This week we had Brando's Dad and wife here for Brando's 27th birthday on Tuesday. We went to dinner at our favorite place, NXNW, then swam in the indoor pool and hot tub at the Renaissance where they stayed.

Wednesday we went on the Austin Duck Adventures, which was TOTALLY dorky and an absolute blast. The "amphibian" car that goes on land and in the water is 20 feet tall. Until you hit the water where you're only two feet above the water and feel like you're sinking. Especially when the driver tells a story about a ski boat going over the dam when they had water out. Justinbustin got to drive the boat all the way to the dam! Wednesday evening we filled our tummies to the brim with Cheesecake Factory and then swam some more before we said our good-byes as they took off the next morning.

Friday evening we took it easy for Justinbustin's flag football game the next day, Saturday, against the other undefeated team in the league. They lost, but only because the other team had HUGE kids!! He and his team definitely did their best!

We'd packed for camping the night before his game so afterwards we immediately took off for camping and went out to Enchanted Rock with Justinbustin's cub scout pack. We hiked to the top of the mountain and then spent the night through two lightning and rain storms. Apparently Justinbustin is old enough to not come crawling into Mommy and Daddy's sleeping bag any more or even call out for us. He just wrapped himself up like a caterpillar in a cocoon in his sleeping bag and kept sleeping. Shawners, on the other hand, alternated between Mom's and Dad's sleeping bags while Mommy pep talked herself into realizing when the storm is at it's worst is when it is almost past. Usually the two loudest claps of thunder are shortly after it's gone by. When they happened I told myself I was expecting that and kept praying. The only time I really freaked out was when the wind started blowing our tent, and then I started fervently praying that my theory that tornadoes don't happen too often in the hill country was actually true.

This morning another cub scout camper knocked on our tent and told us they checked the radar and more rain was coming. So we packed up and got out of there.

We got home in time for a quick rinse and change of clothes and then headed to church, for an awesome session of Panic Free Parenting. Brando is attending the Mentoring Men session they have going on right now, but I'm all about the panic free.

We stopped by my new favorite Sunday afternoon lunch spot, Potbellys, for live music with GREAT songs (Breakfast at Tiffany's, Old Time Rock N Roll, Free Falling, I know those aren't really the names but it's how I remember the songs). All is quiet now, until tomorrow when it starts all over.