Friday, January 28, 2005

Dear Kiddos,

Last week Daddy came to the conclusion that we would need to be here in California longer than we have thought recently. Somebody mentioned a target date for April which would have been a total of 6 months that we were out here. Now it's been pushed back to the end of the year or so which would be the total year that was somewhere in the original plans. I am somewhat coming to grips with this. I was holding on to the April date because it was so soon and I couldn't wait to get back and continue our family life back in Texas.

Now I realize I have to stop putting our family on hold and create a family life out here, however temporary this home is. I love being here and I love seeing you guys enjoy your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins so much. But there is so much going on here that is not your lot to deal with, and I don't want you to have to. Maybe someday if it's your choice, but I'm not going to subject you to it by my choice. Today driving home on the freeway I saw a man with his truck pulled over on the side of the road. He was hanging a sign from the back of it that said "Cops are Terrorists". Santa Cruz is a very "free" thinking city and I'm afraid always will be. My philosophy is just because you think it doesn't mean you have to do it and instead of concentrating on what you don't like, encourage the things you love and concentrate on those. Grandma has always said you will become like what you hate and I have found that to be so true. If you can take away that element, and only hate the esence of evil, you are free to concentrate on the things that you love and want to be.

That is the kind of environment I want us to be in, particulary me because it encourages me to be the best mother I can be for you, and the best wife to your Daddy. I want you to be in that environment too, so that you are free to be who you want to be. And not overloaded with so much stimulants that you don't even know who you want to be. We were able to create that environment in Texas and I look forward to the day we return. I miss the days we've had there previously and am sad you both will probably not remember many of those days. But we will have many pictures, and many memories, and I look forward to making new ones, wonderful, peaceful, relaxing ones. Both here and back in Texas.

I love you guys.




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