Sun Rays

My posts have been so depressing lately that I thought I'd post something fun and upbeat for a change. Check out my new makeup bag!

Isn't it just the cutest thing you ever did see? And to think I used a Sephora bag - the kind you get when you buy something - for the last year all in unknown anticipation of this little cutie. Maybe it was just because I didn't want to spend the money on something I didn't love but that's beside the point.

AND check out my finally found-a-blush-I-love blush, with such an appropriate name - Sheer Emotion

How fun! I just found something new on my super nifty little makeup bag. An extra full zipper pocket in front that has a space for pencils, a pocket for more fun stuff and another zippered clear pocket for whatever. Yay for unexpected surprises!

Blech

Have you ever come across someone who's just blatantly rude? Like they are having a bad day all day, every day. So short and uncaring that you just want to pop them. And they make you feel so small and worthless that you just want to crawl into a corner. Why are there people like that in the world?

Here's the scenario:
Me, calling my optometrist in Austin where I got my contacts for the glasses prescription with a long elaborate story of why I need it faxed to me, not the place where we are going to get the glasses, which they had previously said they wouldn't do.

So here I go launching into my story and she cuts me short with: What do you want me to do?

Me, taken aback: Fax it to me!!

Her: Is this your info?

Me: Yes.

Her: Okay. What's the fax number?

Me: Phone #.

Her: Okay. Click.

Me: Huh?

This is the same lady that wouldn't listen when I insisted if my contacts didn't come in before Tuesday that they would have to ship them to California. She just kept cutting me short and concentrating on the fact it would depend on when they shipped them to determine if they would come before Tuesday. Turns out I ended up waiting a month and a half for them. I absolutely love the doctor and every.single.other.person in that office otherwise I would switch just on account of her. I just hope she gets what's coming to her one of these days and starts to second guess the way she deals with people.

Sun Rays

My posts have been so depressing lately that I thought I'd post something fun and upbeat for a change. Check out my new makeup bag!

Isn't it just the cutest thing you ever did see? And to think I used a Sephora bag - the kind you get when you buy something - for the last year all in unknown anticipation of this little cutie. Maybe it was just because I didn't want to spend the money on something I didn't love but that's beside the point.

AND check out my finally found-a-blush-I-love blush, with such an appropriate name - Sheer Emotion

How fun! I just found something new on my super nifty little makeup bag. An extra full zipper pocket in front that has a space for pencils, a pocket for more fun stuff and another zippered clear pocket for whatever. Yay for unexpected surprises!

Blech

Have you ever come across someone who's just blatantly rude? Like they are having a bad day all day, every day. So short and uncaring that you just want to pop them. And they make you feel so small and worthless that you just want to crawl into a corner. Why are there people like that in the world?

Here's the scenario:
Me, calling my optometrist in Austin where I got my contacts for the glasses prescription with a long elaborate story of why I need it faxed to me, not the place where we are going to get the glasses, which they had previously said they wouldn't do.

So here I go launching into my story and she cuts me short with: What do you want me to do?

Me, taken aback: Fax it to me!!

Her: Is this your info?

Me: Yes.

Her: Okay. What's the fax number?

Me: Phone #.

Her: Okay. Click.

Me: Huh?

This is the same lady that wouldn't listen when I insisted if my contacts didn't come in before Tuesday that they would have to ship them to California. She just kept cutting me short and concentrating on the fact it would depend on when they shipped them to determine if they would come before Tuesday. Turns out I ended up waiting a month and a half for them. I absolutely love the doctor and every.single.other.person in that office otherwise I would switch just on account of her. I just hope she gets what's coming to her one of these days and starts to second guess the way she deals with people.

Dear Kiddos,

Last week Daddy came to the conclusion that we would need to be here in California longer than we have thought recently. Somebody mentioned a target date for April which would have been a total of 6 months that we were out here. Now it's been pushed back to the end of the year or so which would be the total year that was somewhere in the original plans. I am somewhat coming to grips with this. I was holding on to the April date because it was so soon and I couldn't wait to get back and continue our family life back in Texas.

Now I realize I have to stop putting our family on hold and create a family life out here, however temporary this home is. I love being here and I love seeing you guys enjoy your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins so much. But there is so much going on here that is not your lot to deal with, and I don't want you to have to. Maybe someday if it's your choice, but I'm not going to subject you to it by my choice. Today driving home on the freeway I saw a man with his truck pulled over on the side of the road. He was hanging a sign from the back of it that said "Cops are Terrorists". Santa Cruz is a very "free" thinking city and I'm afraid always will be. My philosophy is just because you think it doesn't mean you have to do it and instead of concentrating on what you don't like, encourage the things you love and concentrate on those. Grandma has always said you will become like what you hate and I have found that to be so true. If you can take away that element, and only hate the esence of evil, you are free to concentrate on the things that you love and want to be.

That is the kind of environment I want us to be in, particulary me because it encourages me to be the best mother I can be for you, and the best wife to your Daddy. I want you to be in that environment too, so that you are free to be who you want to be. And not overloaded with so much stimulants that you don't even know who you want to be. We were able to create that environment in Texas and I look forward to the day we return. I miss the days we've had there previously and am sad you both will probably not remember many of those days. But we will have many pictures, and many memories, and I look forward to making new ones, wonderful, peaceful, relaxing ones. Both here and back in Texas.

I love you guys.

Mommy

Dear Kiddos,

Last week Daddy came to the conclusion that we would need to be here in California longer than we have thought recently. Somebody mentioned a target date for April which would have been a total of 6 months that we were out here. Now it's been pushed back to the end of the year or so which would be the total year that was somewhere in the original plans. I am somewhat coming to grips with this. I was holding on to the April date because it was so soon and I couldn't wait to get back and continue our family life back in Texas.

Now I realize I have to stop putting our family on hold and create a family life out here, however temporary this home is. I love being here and I love seeing you guys enjoy your grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins so much. But there is so much going on here that is not your lot to deal with, and I don't want you to have to. Maybe someday if it's your choice, but I'm not going to subject you to it by my choice. Today driving home on the freeway I saw a man with his truck pulled over on the side of the road. He was hanging a sign from the back of it that said "Cops are Terrorists". Santa Cruz is a very "free" thinking city and I'm afraid always will be. My philosophy is just because you think it doesn't mean you have to do it and instead of concentrating on what you don't like, encourage the things you love and concentrate on those. Grandma has always said you will become like what you hate and I have found that to be so true. If you can take away that element, and only hate the esence of evil, you are free to concentrate on the things that you love and want to be.

That is the kind of environment I want us to be in, particulary me because it encourages me to be the best mother I can be for you, and the best wife to your Daddy. I want you to be in that environment too, so that you are free to be who you want to be. And not overloaded with so much stimulants that you don't even know who you want to be. We were able to create that environment in Texas and I look forward to the day we return. I miss the days we've had there previously and am sad you both will probably not remember many of those days. But we will have many pictures, and many memories, and I look forward to making new ones, wonderful, peaceful, relaxing ones. Both here and back in Texas.

I love you guys.

Mommy

IM Conver's

What's the deal with this?

her (my sis): BOO
me: what?
her: I'm at my friend's
me: she went to get my son
her: for me
me: why?
her: cuz
her: just cuz
her: its our secret
her: : D
me: hm
her: she went to get coffe
her: ee
me: eee
me: oh
me: yum
me: i could use some right now
her: yeah
her: right
her: my thighs are as small as my friend's
me: what ar eyou doing?
her: we measured w/ our hands
me: but how small are they compared to no one?
her: maybe mine squash better tho : D not very small compared to nothing
her: :P
me: ah you still compare
her: i will always, i am freakin' female
her: and you do too, but now you keep it a secret, which is your freakin' deal....ok talk to you later miz perfection
me: females don't always

I suppose I could've been nicer but I'm freakin' PMSing. And so. sick. of hearing herself compared to her friends or to somebody this or somebody that. I really don't freakin' care. Feel good for yourself and then you won't have to feel the need to be 'better than' everyone else.

IM Conver's

What's the deal with this?

her (my sis): BOO
me: what?
her: I'm at my friend's
me: she went to get my son
her: for me
me: why?
her: cuz
her: just cuz
her: its our secret
her: : D
me: hm
her: she went to get coffe
her: ee
me: eee
me: oh
me: yum
me: i could use some right now
her: yeah
her: right
her: my thighs are as small as my friend's
me: what ar eyou doing?
her: we measured w/ our hands
me: but how small are they compared to no one?
her: maybe mine squash better tho : D not very small compared to nothing
her: :P
me: ah you still compare
her: i will always, i am freakin' female
her: and you do too, but now you keep it a secret, which is your freakin' deal....ok talk to you later miz perfection
me: females don't always

I suppose I could've been nicer but I'm freakin' PMSing. And so. sick. of hearing herself compared to her friends or to somebody this or somebody that. I really don't freakin' care. Feel good for yourself and then you won't have to feel the need to be 'better than' everyone else.

Weekend Fun

Since we came out here in October I have been wanting to do a bonfire down at the beach. Well we tried. Once. And after forgetting many things we finally gave up at the matches. We could've rubbed some sticks together I suppose or run to the nearby restaurant for matches but you only think of these things afterwards and you've got to draw the line somewhere.

That was in October. Wednesday my Mother and I created a bonfire 'list'. We had a little fun creating it, too. She can be obsessively clean sometimes, so when I suggested baby wipes, she suggested a jug of water, at my rolled eyes she added 'and soap', then I brought up a bathtub and we both cracked up laughing.

Together we created the list and on Friday after adjusting it a tad bit I had the perfect bonfire list. With that in hand the boys, Nephew, and I headed out to Safeway to pick up the necessary items and ironed out the details - what beach, what time, what's for dinner. After putting everything together we headed down to the beach at 4pm.

People started trickling in, my Dad picked up Little Caesar's - he showed up with 7 pizzas. I said why?! He said they were cheap and I told him that's why I sent him there. To my suprise enough people ended up being there to eat every last slice! Over the course of the night my brother and his fiancee were there, my sister and her 3 kids, my Big Sis and her son of course, my parents, Hubby, and an employee of my parent's and her son.

Of course we had s'mores. This was the fun part. My brother's fiancee - never had a bonfire before. Ever. She comes from Ireland so that makes sense I guess. Any way I got out the wire hangers and she was fascinated, "What are we going to do with those?" I replied, "Make smores." but when I saw the look on her face, I started explaining in detail well we straighten these out and put marshmallows on the ends and then toast them over the fire. She got so excited "It's just like in the movies!" she says.

Later A and her son showed up and she'd never had a bonfire before either! JMust come from growing up in a beach town. It ended up being really fun to organize a bonfire and have two people there that had never been to one. And because everything was pre-planned, including dinner, it all went really really smoothly and people were free to come and go as they pleased, including us. We actually left a bit early to get our boys showered and to bed at a reasonable time.

Saturday my Dad rented a hotel for us to use the heated pool. Strange I know but he always did this as we were growing up and so I suggested it for all the kids around right now and he did. Him and my Mom ended up staying there that night too so they got something out of the deal too : ) besides just hanging out at the pool all day with all their grandkids. The boys, Hubby, and I went there for a few hours, tuckered the kids out and headed back home. That evening we went out to dinner with Big Sis and Nephew, who'd already eaten but decided to come any way.

Sunday we took Big Sis back to the airport and saw her off. It's been an absolutely gorgeous week the entire time she was her. And last night after the boys and Hubby played tag on the beach and I sat and watched them we drove home and watched the clouds roll in. And by the way Cori, I know exactly what you are talking about now. Driving to the airport yesterday it was sunny and beautiful over here but just as we neared the summit it started getting cold, very cold, and completely foggy. Yuck. We drove back and it was still beautiful and gorgeous here. Crazy. Cori lives just an hour away from me, inland, which I knew so when she asked where do I live that we can go to the beach in January I was wondering if I had read wrong since she lives so close by. It turns out when it's nice here it can be much the opposite there. I had no idea.

We did a ton this weekend but somehow it was all very peaceful and relaxing. Hubby and I observed that we really made sure to do our own thing as a family - yes, we went and did things and participated and had fun and even planned it all, but we made sure to take care of our family needs first and when we needed to go, we did. That worked really well. It wasn't a crazy helter-skelter weekend but it could very easily have been, instead it was a relaxing, very fun weekend.

-------

This morning I am lying in bed and usually Little Guy climbs into bed beside me and asks to do his sticker book. This morning he climbs into bed and says, "Please we do my sticker book little lady?" Added note: I know Hubby has called me this once or twice in the past though I'm not sure what in reference to. I don't know that he has done it lately so I am wondering where Little Guy got this from. After he said that, I asked him "Am I your little lady?" and he says, "Yes." And later when Hubby came home for lunch and I told him he asked Little Guy who his little lady was and Little Guy points to me. Funny, but adorable.

Yesterday we had the conversation that I've wondered for awhile when we would have it and how it would go. The marriage one. We were headed to the beach where Hubby had proposed to me just to hang out and have some fun. So I told the boys that we were going to the place where Daddy had asked Mommy to marry her. Little Guy asks "Are you going to marry me?" Big Guy interjects, "No. You're too tiny. And I'm too tiny."

Weekend Fun

Since we came out here in October I have been wanting to do a bonfire down at the beach. Well we tried. Once. And after forgetting many things we finally gave up at the matches. We could've rubbed some sticks together I suppose or run to the nearby restaurant for matches but you only think of these things afterwards and you've got to draw the line somewhere.

That was in October. Wednesday my Mother and I created a bonfire 'list'. We had a little fun creating it, too. She can be obsessively clean sometimes, so when I suggested baby wipes, she suggested a jug of water, at my rolled eyes she added 'and soap', then I brought up a bathtub and we both cracked up laughing.

Together we created the list and on Friday after adjusting it a tad bit I had the perfect bonfire list. With that in hand the boys, Nephew, and I headed out to Safeway to pick up the necessary items and ironed out the details - what beach, what time, what's for dinner. After putting everything together we headed down to the beach at 4pm.

People started trickling in, my Dad picked up Little Caesar's - he showed up with 7 pizzas. I said why?! He said they were cheap and I told him that's why I sent him there. To my suprise enough people ended up being there to eat every last slice! Over the course of the night my brother and his fiancee were there, my sister and her 3 kids, my Big Sis and her son of course, my parents, Hubby, and an employee of my parent's and her son.

Of course we had s'mores. This was the fun part. My brother's fiancee - never had a bonfire before. Ever. She comes from Ireland so that makes sense I guess. Any way I got out the wire hangers and she was fascinated, "What are we going to do with those?" I replied, "Make smores." but when I saw the look on her face, I started explaining in detail well we straighten these out and put marshmallows on the ends and then toast them over the fire. She got so excited "It's just like in the movies!" she says.

Later A and her son showed up and she'd never had a bonfire before either! JMust come from growing up in a beach town. It ended up being really fun to organize a bonfire and have two people there that had never been to one. And because everything was pre-planned, including dinner, it all went really really smoothly and people were free to come and go as they pleased, including us. We actually left a bit early to get our boys showered and to bed at a reasonable time.

Saturday my Dad rented a hotel for us to use the heated pool. Strange I know but he always did this as we were growing up and so I suggested it for all the kids around right now and he did. Him and my Mom ended up staying there that night too so they got something out of the deal too : ) besides just hanging out at the pool all day with all their grandkids. The boys, Hubby, and I went there for a few hours, tuckered the kids out and headed back home. That evening we went out to dinner with Big Sis and Nephew, who'd already eaten but decided to come any way.

Sunday we took Big Sis back to the airport and saw her off. It's been an absolutely gorgeous week the entire time she was her. And last night after the boys and Hubby played tag on the beach and I sat and watched them we drove home and watched the clouds roll in. And by the way Cori, I know exactly what you are talking about now. Driving to the airport yesterday it was sunny and beautiful over here but just as we neared the summit it started getting cold, very cold, and completely foggy. Yuck. We drove back and it was still beautiful and gorgeous here. Crazy. Cori lives just an hour away from me, inland, which I knew so when she asked where do I live that we can go to the beach in January I was wondering if I had read wrong since she lives so close by. It turns out when it's nice here it can be much the opposite there. I had no idea.

We did a ton this weekend but somehow it was all very peaceful and relaxing. Hubby and I observed that we really made sure to do our own thing as a family - yes, we went and did things and participated and had fun and even planned it all, but we made sure to take care of our family needs first and when we needed to go, we did. That worked really well. It wasn't a crazy helter-skelter weekend but it could very easily have been, instead it was a relaxing, very fun weekend.

-------

This morning I am lying in bed and usually Little Guy climbs into bed beside me and asks to do his sticker book. This morning he climbs into bed and says, "Please we do my sticker book little lady?" Added note: I know Hubby has called me this once or twice in the past though I'm not sure what in reference to. I don't know that he has done it lately so I am wondering where Little Guy got this from. After he said that, I asked him "Am I your little lady?" and he says, "Yes." And later when Hubby came home for lunch and I told him he asked Little Guy who his little lady was and Little Guy points to me. Funny, but adorable.

Yesterday we had the conversation that I've wondered for awhile when we would have it and how it would go. The marriage one. We were headed to the beach where Hubby had proposed to me just to hang out and have some fun. So I told the boys that we were going to the place where Daddy had asked Mommy to marry her. Little Guy asks "Are you going to marry me?" Big Guy interjects, "No. You're too tiny. And I'm too tiny."

Update

I just found out yesterday that my friend back in Texas is making some progress with her son. He has just turned 3 but never has had solid #2's. She never thought much about it, thinking he was just still being a baby. But he stopped having just milk a long time ago, and that should stop then too. When this all came up she started realizing that that is very unusual and not normal. So along with his new diet she has been giving him enzymes for the last week - capsules that she breaks and pours over his food before he eats. They help him break down his food. 3 days went by with no poops, and then he had his first solid one! Every 3 days is normal for them - at least her husband and her older son, so that is a very big YEA for him! And for her! I am so excited - it's a step forward, something that says she is GOING in the right direction. There must be something going on there that he couldn't even have normal poops. And she's starting to figure it out. I am so excited for her, and him!

Update

I just found out yesterday that my friend back in Texas is making some progress with her son. He has just turned 3 but never has had solid #2's. She never thought much about it, thinking he was just still being a baby. But he stopped having just milk a long time ago, and that should stop then too. When this all came up she started realizing that that is very unusual and not normal. So along with his new diet she has been giving him enzymes for the last week - capsules that she breaks and pours over his food before he eats. They help him break down his food. 3 days went by with no poops, and then he had his first solid one! Every 3 days is normal for them - at least her husband and her older son, so that is a very big YEA for him! And for her! I am so excited - it's a step forward, something that says she is GOING in the right direction. There must be something going on there that he couldn't even have normal poops. And she's starting to figure it out. I am so excited for her, and him!

Yesterday

Yesterday was a crock. I packed the kids up, bathing suit shorts and all, and we headed out for lunch and the beach. My sister called and asked if we wanted to go to the beach, since we were headed there I thought what the heck let's meet up, it'd be rude not to, right? Well my particular pick of beach idea was shot down by the tone in her voice and for some reason the rest of my afternoon went to shit from that day on. I seriously doubted myself and ended up driving around for an hour to find a 'better' beach when the one I'd already picked was just fine. Damn self-doubt. By the time I figured that out Little Guy was asleep and I was in tears. We went home so he could sleep and I could calm down.

A few hours later my other sister, the oldest one who is visiting from Texas, came home and her 10 year old son who was with us all day begged her to take him to the beach. By that time I was calmed down and really wanted to go to the beach as well. We woke up Little Guy and plopped him in the stroller and off we went. Down to the harbor and along it to the beach. We had an absolutely glorious time, Big Guy and Nephew played in the water all afternoon long, and Big Sis and Little Guy played in the sand and some in the water. I sat by the wayside and snapped pictures, beautiful silhouette pictures in the sunset.

Big Sis decided to rinse off in the ocean just as we were about to go and got swept under. I missed that part. But turned just in time to get a picture of her soaking wet grinning as she came out. We came back, wet, cold, and hungry, but having had a wonderful time.

-----

What is it about a person that can make you self doubt yourself? I thought and thought and thought on it and came up with the fact that she (next to biggest sis) does not believe in me. At all. I don't even know if she believes in herself. I try to believe in myself but when someone is coming hard against you it's hard to know where to fall. Hubby put it in an interesting perspective that it's part of his job to help me believe in myself and when she's pushing on my self belief I need to have that to fall back on. I know I need to be stronger myself, but that is true to, and it was a really sweet analogy he came up with.

-----

UPDATE

Yesterday

Yesterday was a crock. I packed the kids up, bathing suit shorts and all, and we headed out for lunch and the beach. My sister called and asked if we wanted to go to the beach, since we were headed there I thought what the heck let's meet up, it'd be rude not to, right? Well my particular pick of beach idea was shot down by the tone in her voice and for some reason the rest of my afternoon went to shit from that day on. I seriously doubted myself and ended up driving around for an hour to find a 'better' beach when the one I'd already picked was just fine. Damn self-doubt. By the time I figured that out Little Guy was asleep and I was in tears. We went home so he could sleep and I could calm down.

A few hours later my other sister, the oldest one who is visiting from Texas, came home and her 10 year old son who was with us all day begged her to take him to the beach. By that time I was calmed down and really wanted to go to the beach as well. We woke up Little Guy and plopped him in the stroller and off we went. Down to the harbor and along it to the beach. We had an absolutely glorious time, Big Guy and Nephew played in the water all afternoon long, and Big Sis and Little Guy played in the sand and some in the water. I sat by the wayside and snapped pictures, beautiful silhouette pictures in the sunset.

Big Sis decided to rinse off in the ocean just as we were about to go and got swept under. I missed that part. But turned just in time to get a picture of her soaking wet grinning as she came out. We came back, wet, cold, and hungry, but having had a wonderful time.

-----

What is it about a person that can make you self doubt yourself? I thought and thought and thought on it and came up with the fact that she (next to biggest sis) does not believe in me. At all. I don't even know if she believes in herself. I try to believe in myself but when someone is coming hard against you it's hard to know where to fall. Hubby put it in an interesting perspective that it's part of his job to help me believe in myself and when she's pushing on my self belief I need to have that to fall back on. I know I need to be stronger myself, but that is true to, and it was a really sweet analogy he came up with.

-----

UPDATE

Bliss

Hubby and I had an amazing evening of listening and talking. The kids were being watched, happy at home. And we took ourselves to Riva's on the wharf and had fried zucchini, Monterey Chicken, Cardinal Margarita's and Chocolate Hazelnut gelato. And conversation like we've never had before. We didn't even order, except for the fried zucchini of course, until halfway into the night. It was bliss. Pure bliss. It was an early night, but only because both of us were so insanely happy with the whole evening. And we must.watch.Smallville. Other than that we'd be out all night. hehe

Balance

This afternoon I was over at Girl's reading her latest post and the comments left, and found these gems.

"You know what? The fact that you are consumed with your life means you are doing exactly what your blog title says : "A good mix and balance".

We're all here. Hang in there , GOOD LUCK , you'll do great. *big hug*"

From the always wise Sam.

" I feel your pain.
I had originally intended to post for ME. But I suddenly had readers and found myself posting for THEM. I had no idea what a blog was when I started and was surprised to find that it is quite the consuming hobby."
From the newly named Opiate Poppy.

"I think it's a good thing to find balance in EVERYTHING. When I need a break from blogging, I take it. And when I want to write crap, then dagnabbit I write crap. Just for me. If other people want to read it, great. If they don't, great."
From the famous Pink Poppy.

As well as Girl's own post herself, these have got me thinking about where the balance is that I need to find. And maybe it is that. You know I'm pretty sure I started getting a little off balance back when I made sure to write down blogging ideas when they popped into my head. At first it seemed like a great idea, and I churned out quite a few posts I was very pleased with. It seemed with this new method I always had something to blog and so would post it the first chance I got. Instead of just sitting down and writing whatever came to me at the moment. See where I'm going with this? It not only consumed my immediate thought, it was consuming my every thought. So with that in mind I'm going back to what was working, where I sit down and write my immediate thoughts. And possibly much less frequent as I won't have so much to blog about, hehe.

Isn't this blogging world delightful? Any who that is where I am at now. So. Thank you for all your wonderful, kind support, and as Sam famously puts it "NO DRAMA!" I'll be here when I'm here and that's that. I'm just crackin' myself up with my weird phrases today.

Oh and if you haven't yet and as long as you're a Tall Poppy, go get yourself a Poppy Name and join The Poppy Club.

Bliss

Hubby and I had an amazing evening of listening and talking. The kids were being watched, happy at home. And we took ourselves to Riva's on the wharf and had fried zucchini, Monterey Chicken, Cardinal Margarita's and Chocolate Hazelnut gelato. And conversation like we've never had before. We didn't even order, except for the fried zucchini of course, until halfway into the night. It was bliss. Pure bliss. It was an early night, but only because both of us were so insanely happy with the whole evening. And we must.watch.Smallville. Other than that we'd be out all night. hehe

Balance

This afternoon I was over at Girl's reading her latest post and the comments left, and found these gems.

"You know what? The fact that you are consumed with your life means you are doing exactly what your blog title says : "A good mix and balance".

We're all here. Hang in there , GOOD LUCK , you'll do great. *big hug*"

From the always wise Sam.

" I feel your pain.
I had originally intended to post for ME. But I suddenly had readers and found myself posting for THEM. I had no idea what a blog was when I started and was surprised to find that it is quite the consuming hobby."
From the newly named Opiate Poppy.

"I think it's a good thing to find balance in EVERYTHING. When I need a break from blogging, I take it. And when I want to write crap, then dagnabbit I write crap. Just for me. If other people want to read it, great. If they don't, great."
From the famous Pink Poppy.

As well as Girl's own post herself, these have got me thinking about where the balance is that I need to find. And maybe it is that. You know I'm pretty sure I started getting a little off balance back when I made sure to write down blogging ideas when they popped into my head. At first it seemed like a great idea, and I churned out quite a few posts I was very pleased with. It seemed with this new method I always had something to blog and so would post it the first chance I got. Instead of just sitting down and writing whatever came to me at the moment. See where I'm going with this? It not only consumed my immediate thought, it was consuming my every thought. So with that in mind I'm going back to what was working, where I sit down and write my immediate thoughts. And possibly much less frequent as I won't have so much to blog about, hehe.

Isn't this blogging world delightful? Any who that is where I am at now. So. Thank you for all your wonderful, kind support, and as Sam famously puts it "NO DRAMA!" I'll be here when I'm here and that's that. I'm just crackin' myself up with my weird phrases today.

Oh and if you haven't yet and as long as you're a Tall Poppy, go get yourself a Poppy Name and join The Poppy Club.

Spring Flowers

Almost spring flowers that is. Yesterday I was in the bathroom washing my face and I heard Big Guy come in, and I thought I heard him say, "I have a surprise for you." I tried to ask him what and I heard nothing. When I rinsed my face and opened my eyes there was a beautiful sweet bouqet of flowers sitting next to the sink. We went to Target yesterday and bought 4 or 5 small vases for all the flowers they pick for me, but I brought them home and the stems were too long. How can I cut anything that they have given me? And so they sit in their drinking glass, next to the little vases that look almost as pretty empty, one looking even prettier with a little daisy he picked earlier for me. And, yes, I told Hubby.

Spring Flowers

Almost spring flowers that is. Yesterday I was in the bathroom washing my face and I heard Big Guy come in, and I thought I heard him say, "I have a surprise for you." I tried to ask him what and I heard nothing. When I rinsed my face and opened my eyes there was a beautiful sweet bouqet of flowers sitting next to the sink. We went to Target yesterday and bought 4 or 5 small vases for all the flowers they pick for me, but I brought them home and the stems were too long. How can I cut anything that they have given me? And so they sit in their drinking glass, next to the little vases that look almost as pretty empty, one looking even prettier with a little daisy he picked earlier for me. And, yes, I told Hubby.

I Think I Need a Break

It's so easy to come here and vent, or even just talk about daily things, that I do instead of making the time and effort to tell my husband. And I feel it's destroying our relationship. Somehow in the midst of being healthy for me it's become such an outlet for me that it's very unhealthy for us. This next week is going to be extremely busy for us and I know if I don't do something now I will end up even more bitter than I am right now. I need a break. I'm thinking it's from talking to someone else besides him (the great wide internet) and so I'm going to stop. I may be on here to post little sweet things about my children, but only after I tell him. I've noticed I've told him less and less of the sweet things they do, because I just go and write it here. Once it's written I know it's there. But I forget that he hasn't heard it. And so he doesn't. And we're losing that connection, of just being. And I need it to survive.

The Night

You guys did GOOD. I felt beautiful and completely appropriate. What a special evening. Beautiful setting and delicious dinner, well hor'deourves, salad, dinner, and dessert, and all lots of it. My Dad gave a few speeches, the President of the company that they appointed gave a speech, and Senator Bruce McPherson was there and gave a speech.

It's funny when it's all so personal to you that you notice other people's reactions a lot, lot more. I was instantly able to point out the weeds, the naysayers. Okay well there was just one I noticed. She just had something to say about everything.

The couples that sat at our table had been married 112 years collectively - one of them 51 years and the other 61 years. Together with my older sister's marriage and my marriage we had 134 years of marriage sitting right there which was pretty special.

The evening was wonderful. It takes me awhile to warm up and just as I did we had to go but I enjoyed myself immensely and so wish I could've stayed longer.

Thank you guys for helping to make it a comfortable evening and warm! Oh my this sweater was so perfect. I don't want to post pics on here but if you want one just let me know and I'll send you one!

One more thing, Cecilia and Girl I went with shimmery and smoky eyes, how about that : ) ?

I Think I Need a Break

It's so easy to come here and vent, or even just talk about daily things, that I do instead of making the time and effort to tell my husband. And I feel it's destroying our relationship. Somehow in the midst of being healthy for me it's become such an outlet for me that it's very unhealthy for us. This next week is going to be extremely busy for us and I know if I don't do something now I will end up even more bitter than I am right now. I need a break. I'm thinking it's from talking to someone else besides him (the great wide internet) and so I'm going to stop. I may be on here to post little sweet things about my children, but only after I tell him. I've noticed I've told him less and less of the sweet things they do, because I just go and write it here. Once it's written I know it's there. But I forget that he hasn't heard it. And so he doesn't. And we're losing that connection, of just being. And I need it to survive.

The Night

You guys did GOOD. I felt beautiful and completely appropriate. What a special evening. Beautiful setting and delicious dinner, well hor'deourves, salad, dinner, and dessert, and all lots of it. My Dad gave a few speeches, the President of the company that they appointed gave a speech, and Senator Bruce McPherson was there and gave a speech.

It's funny when it's all so personal to you that you notice other people's reactions a lot, lot more. I was instantly able to point out the weeds, the naysayers. Okay well there was just one I noticed. She just had something to say about everything.

The couples that sat at our table had been married 112 years collectively - one of them 51 years and the other 61 years. Together with my older sister's marriage and my marriage we had 134 years of marriage sitting right there which was pretty special.

The evening was wonderful. It takes me awhile to warm up and just as I did we had to go but I enjoyed myself immensely and so wish I could've stayed longer.

Thank you guys for helping to make it a comfortable evening and warm! Oh my this sweater was so perfect. I don't want to post pics on here but if you want one just let me know and I'll send you one!

One more thing, Cecilia and Girl I went with shimmery and smoky eyes, how about that : ) ?

The Dress, or Outfit, oh Whatever

Continuing on from Thursday's comments...

Okay so the little black and maroon dress (Sam) I had picked out went out the door after my Mother's mention of it looking like a nightgown - okay so maybe it wasn't the perfect little black dress, one of these days I will have one of those. Oh well, it turns out to be a good thing as it just turned freezing out there after being a beautiful day.

After shopping all day yesterday and today it's suprising how little they actually have out there that's nice, but not too nice or not too straight jackety. ANY way I pulled a little of it all together and ended up with something I am almost happy with. A beautiful angora winter white sweater with a wrap (Cori) around the neck - a very flattering one with a shimmery (Girl) brooch like flower setting near the shoulder. The skirt is a straight sweet pale pink tweed with a perfect little flounce on the bottom (Pink Poppy). Of course I am going to wear my dangly earrings which will go perfect.

I did the smoky eyes (Cecilia) yesterday but am not sure if I will end up doing that or go with the light (Girl) because of my outfit change.

The shoes!! Ahh this is where I digress. I have a simple little creme colored beaded sandals with a small heel that work with the outfit, but aren't spectacular or stunning (how much can we go for right?) and I will probably only ever this one time. And I have a pair of strappy but not too strappy silver ones, also with a small heel, that I am wondering if they might work. I've also got black knee high boots which I would love to wear because it just turned cooold but I'm thinking that so does not work for semi-formal. I found a sweet little pair of chocolate brown and pale pink f* me heels as Girl puts it. But f* me if I could wear them, sheesh!! See, I'm not mad at you for being vulgar. They made my legs look not quite sexy when my veins decided to show.

So, quick, any suggestions? I can make a quick run to the mall. How sad is this that I don't have something even semi appropriate to wear to this place that I have to go and shop for it all a day or two before. Ah, well, at least I will have it now. That is why I would love to find a pair that doesn't just work, but looks perfect, or close enough.

Thank you guys for all your support. I know it's silly of me to stress about something really not so major, but I've never been to such a semi-formal, nice but not too nice, event before and it just has me worried sick that it will just be totally out of place.

UPDATE: I found them! The perfect little shoes with a mother of pearl looking flower that goes perfectly with the shimmery little flower that will be on my neckline. Who would've thought my Mom had them in her closet all along?

The Dress, or Outfit, oh Whatever

Continuing on from Thursday's comments...

Okay so the little black and maroon dress (Sam) I had picked out went out the door after my Mother's mention of it looking like a nightgown - okay so maybe it wasn't the perfect little black dress, one of these days I will have one of those. Oh well, it turns out to be a good thing as it just turned freezing out there after being a beautiful day.

After shopping all day yesterday and today it's suprising how little they actually have out there that's nice, but not too nice or not too straight jackety. ANY way I pulled a little of it all together and ended up with something I am almost happy with. A beautiful angora winter white sweater with a wrap (Cori) around the neck - a very flattering one with a shimmery (Girl) brooch like flower setting near the shoulder. The skirt is a straight sweet pale pink tweed with a perfect little flounce on the bottom (Pink Poppy). Of course I am going to wear my dangly earrings which will go perfect.

I did the smoky eyes (Cecilia) yesterday but am not sure if I will end up doing that or go with the light (Girl) because of my outfit change.

The shoes!! Ahh this is where I digress. I have a simple little creme colored beaded sandals with a small heel that work with the outfit, but aren't spectacular or stunning (how much can we go for right?) and I will probably only ever this one time. And I have a pair of strappy but not too strappy silver ones, also with a small heel, that I am wondering if they might work. I've also got black knee high boots which I would love to wear because it just turned cooold but I'm thinking that so does not work for semi-formal. I found a sweet little pair of chocolate brown and pale pink f* me heels as Girl puts it. But f* me if I could wear them, sheesh!! See, I'm not mad at you for being vulgar. They made my legs look not quite sexy when my veins decided to show.

So, quick, any suggestions? I can make a quick run to the mall. How sad is this that I don't have something even semi appropriate to wear to this place that I have to go and shop for it all a day or two before. Ah, well, at least I will have it now. That is why I would love to find a pair that doesn't just work, but looks perfect, or close enough.

Thank you guys for all your support. I know it's silly of me to stress about something really not so major, but I've never been to such a semi-formal, nice but not too nice, event before and it just has me worried sick that it will just be totally out of place.

UPDATE: I found them! The perfect little shoes with a mother of pearl looking flower that goes perfectly with the shimmery little flower that will be on my neckline. Who would've thought my Mom had them in her closet all along?

Single Date

Wednesday I needed a date. A serious date. The evening started out with me putting a pot of water on the stove to make pasta and pesto for a family dinner. Hubby came home soon afterward and made some comment, not about the food, but about something, I don't even remember what. That was it, I gathered my keys and jacket and was out the door in two minutes flat.

It's been awhile since I had a date and I needed one and I was going to get one, if I had to do it myself. So I did.

I took myself to my most favorite restaurant in the entire world. I ordered a bowl of Walla Walla Onion Soup and a Peach Iced Tea and sat back and enjoyed the crackling fire and the sweet family next to me with their peanut sized baby. Their walls are decorated with clocks that open up, move, play the piano, or in some other form does something extra special on the hour. The first clock is set 20 minutes ahead of the last one, so you have time to watch each one individually. I came at the very end of the cycle but just in time to watch my favorite pink clock that opens up into a flower chime the hour.

After such a pleasant dinner I thought I should take myself to a movie, one I've been wanting to see for quite awhile. I took myself downtown to check out the movie times and found my movie started at 8pm. Of course I had to go shopping to fill the time. I went to a few stores that I have gift certificates for from Christmas, but decided I want to wait for their spring apparel to fully come in before I buy.

At the second store I did run into a friend that I went to school with way back when we were teeny tiny. Her Mom taught at the school and she was the school kindergarten sweetheart Hubby had said, so what were you? The first grade sweetheart? Isn't he just a sweetie pie : ) ?

I had seen her there before and said hi the other day, so I stopped to chat. We talked about home, work, and school, and she mentioned she worked 11-8pm each day so she still had time for somewhat of a night. We said our good-byes and I continued on my way.

After a few more stores I realized it still wasn't quite time for my movie and then I thought well who says I should have to see a movie alone? Why don't I invite Sweet Girl? So, after a few self-convincing talks that it would be no problem if she already had plans, I was planning to go see it by myself in the first place any way, I did.

And you know what? She said, "Sure, I'd love to." So I went and got our tickets and a Starbucks and came back by to walk with her. She closed up shop and walked down with me. When we got there she went to get into line to buy her ticket and I produced my already bought tickets and said, "My treat." She said thank you, you didn't have to, of course, but then so sweetly said well let me get you something to eat. I held up my Starbucks and my bottled water and said you go ahead. She said no she didn't want any she was just trying to pay me back. She's still a sweetheart!

We watched our movie (please tell me he so looks like Val Kilmer in that shot) and were equally shocked and apalled that no one had told us the guy was CRAZY. Literally, crazy. So maybe we don't know our history. Someone should have warned us!

What may have been even crazier was as we left the theatre there was a man sleeping halfway across the door. We walk out of the theatre and I tell the girl at the food counter,

Me: Um, there's a man sleeping in the back on the floor.
Her, without skipping a beat: Oh boy.
Me: Yeah. So. Have fun with that.

That's Santa Cruz for you. Gorgeous and very, very strange at the same time. After all that Sweet Girl and I chatted a bit more, said our good-byes and I returned home a happy woman.

Single Date

Wednesday I needed a date. A serious date. The evening started out with me putting a pot of water on the stove to make pasta and pesto for a family dinner. Hubby came home soon afterward and made some comment, not about the food, but about something, I don't even remember what. That was it, I gathered my keys and jacket and was out the door in two minutes flat.

It's been awhile since I had a date and I needed one and I was going to get one, if I had to do it myself. So I did.

I took myself to my most favorite restaurant in the entire world. I ordered a bowl of Walla Walla Onion Soup and a Peach Iced Tea and sat back and enjoyed the crackling fire and the sweet family next to me with their peanut sized baby. Their walls are decorated with clocks that open up, move, play the piano, or in some other form does something extra special on the hour. The first clock is set 20 minutes ahead of the last one, so you have time to watch each one individually. I came at the very end of the cycle but just in time to watch my favorite pink clock that opens up into a flower chime the hour.

After such a pleasant dinner I thought I should take myself to a movie, one I've been wanting to see for quite awhile. I took myself downtown to check out the movie times and found my movie started at 8pm. Of course I had to go shopping to fill the time. I went to a few stores that I have gift certificates for from Christmas, but decided I want to wait for their spring apparel to fully come in before I buy.

At the second store I did run into a friend that I went to school with way back when we were teeny tiny. Her Mom taught at the school and she was the school kindergarten sweetheart Hubby had said, so what were you? The first grade sweetheart? Isn't he just a sweetie pie : ) ?

I had seen her there before and said hi the other day, so I stopped to chat. We talked about home, work, and school, and she mentioned she worked 11-8pm each day so she still had time for somewhat of a night. We said our good-byes and I continued on my way.

After a few more stores I realized it still wasn't quite time for my movie and then I thought well who says I should have to see a movie alone? Why don't I invite Sweet Girl? So, after a few self-convincing talks that it would be no problem if she already had plans, I was planning to go see it by myself in the first place any way, I did.

And you know what? She said, "Sure, I'd love to." So I went and got our tickets and a Starbucks and came back by to walk with her. She closed up shop and walked down with me. When we got there she went to get into line to buy her ticket and I produced my already bought tickets and said, "My treat." She said thank you, you didn't have to, of course, but then so sweetly said well let me get you something to eat. I held up my Starbucks and my bottled water and said you go ahead. She said no she didn't want any she was just trying to pay me back. She's still a sweetheart!

We watched our movie (please tell me he so looks like Val Kilmer in that shot) and were equally shocked and apalled that no one had told us the guy was CRAZY. Literally, crazy. So maybe we don't know our history. Someone should have warned us!

What may have been even crazier was as we left the theatre there was a man sleeping halfway across the door. We walk out of the theatre and I tell the girl at the food counter,

Me: Um, there's a man sleeping in the back on the floor.
Her, without skipping a beat: Oh boy.
Me: Yeah. So. Have fun with that.

That's Santa Cruz for you. Gorgeous and very, very strange at the same time. After all that Sweet Girl and I chatted a bit more, said our good-byes and I returned home a happy woman.

Reader's Design

Girl has requested a post about my date that me, myself, and I took myself on last night and it will come. But, first, I have a project for you. Hubby and I have an event to attend to this weekend. A 'Customer Appreciation Dinner' his business is hosting at a grand ole' ballroom. And I need an outfit! He mostly works with seniors, people who have experienced their whole lives, so my thoughts are something stylish with fresh colors. A lovely skirt and top perhaps? Or a simple dress?

And so, in the spirit of Michele's lovely games, I have one for you here. Would the first commenter pick the top, or dress as it may be? The second the skirt, the third the shoes, going on to accessories, thought not too many, and then to start over... Of course you are more than welcome to recommend an entire outfit, this is a real live event and I need all the help I can get.

Reader's Design

Girl has requested a post about my date that me, myself, and I took myself on last night and it will come. But, first, I have a project for you. Hubby and I have an event to attend to this weekend. A 'Customer Appreciation Dinner' his business is hosting at a grand ole' ballroom. And I need an outfit! He mostly works with seniors, people who have experienced their whole lives, so my thoughts are something stylish with fresh colors. A lovely skirt and top perhaps? Or a simple dress?

And so, in the spirit of Michele's lovely games, I have one for you here. Would the first commenter pick the top, or dress as it may be? The second the skirt, the third the shoes, going on to accessories, thought not too many, and then to start over... Of course you are more than welcome to recommend an entire outfit, this is a real live event and I need all the help I can get.

It's a Beautiful, Beautiful Day

Can you believe the weather out there? It is so relieving for the rain to be gone. I do love the rain, but enough is enough! I took the boys to Westcliff Drive, a very pretty drive along the ocean that also has a great area for walking and biking. They played and I took pictures and reveled in the beauty of the day.

Big Guy asked me to take this picture of the waves crashing on the rocks. I couldn't believe it, what a gorgeous shot. He's always loved to take pictures. He hasn't done it in awhile though, mostly because we got a new very expensive camera that we're a little more wary of him using. One of these days I will post the pictures that he's taken.

It's a Beautiful, Beautiful Day

Can you believe the weather out there? It is so relieving for the rain to be gone. I do love the rain, but enough is enough! I took the boys to Westcliff Drive, a very pretty drive along the ocean that also has a great area for walking and biking. They played and I took pictures and reveled in the beauty of the day.

Big Guy asked me to take this picture of the waves crashing on the rocks. I couldn't believe it, what a gorgeous shot. He's always loved to take pictures. He hasn't done it in awhile though, mostly because we got a new very expensive camera that we're a little more wary of him using. One of these days I will post the pictures that he's taken.

Who's Out There?

I know we just had de-lurking day and a lot of people out there celebrated it, but honestly I didn't think I had any lurkers, so I just didn't. Whaddya' know Kismet came out to say hi just a day or two later and admitted she was a lurker. I feel completely flattered and if she had a website, I'd link to it.

That started me thinking if I have one lurker who's to say I don't have more? I've started to look at my stats a little more carefully. And I've noticed someone keeps coming back that's near my town. Which freaks me out just the tiniest bit. Do you know who you are? Come out and say hi so I stop freaking out here. Maybe it's nothing to worry about. And come to think of it, I know there's one site that's just a little ways away that I visit and hardly ever leave comments so maybe I shouldn't be so sketchy about it. Still. It's a very strange feeling.

Oh and Sam? Out of the last 100 or so they count, you've brought the most visitors to my site. Whoohoo I just think that's so much fun!

Fortune

Fortune magazine has listed bloggers as Trend No. 1 on their Top 10 Tech Trends to Watch in 2005. They've titled the article, "Why There's No Escaping the Blog". That's just so appropriate - their reasons are from a business standpoint, but really there is no escaping the blog. It's exciting to be on top of a force that people are just now realizing that it is going to change the way we communicate with each other, and already has.

Who's Out There?

I know we just had de-lurking day and a lot of people out there celebrated it, but honestly I didn't think I had any lurkers, so I just didn't. Whaddya' know Kismet came out to say hi just a day or two later and admitted she was a lurker. I feel completely flattered and if she had a website, I'd link to it.

That started me thinking if I have one lurker who's to say I don't have more? I've started to look at my stats a little more carefully. And I've noticed someone keeps coming back that's near my town. Which freaks me out just the tiniest bit. Do you know who you are? Come out and say hi so I stop freaking out here. Maybe it's nothing to worry about. And come to think of it, I know there's one site that's just a little ways away that I visit and hardly ever leave comments so maybe I shouldn't be so sketchy about it. Still. It's a very strange feeling.

Oh and Sam? Out of the last 100 or so they count, you've brought the most visitors to my site. Whoohoo I just think that's so much fun!

Fortune

Fortune magazine has listed bloggers as Trend No. 1 on their Top 10 Tech Trends to Watch in 2005. They've titled the article, "Why There's No Escaping the Blog". That's just so appropriate - their reasons are from a business standpoint, but really there is no escaping the blog. It's exciting to be on top of a force that people are just now realizing that it is going to change the way we communicate with each other, and already has.

Flooded

I know I just overflooded my site with posts now that I'm back. They are mostly for my memory of this weekend so though I would love for you to, don't feel like you have to read them all. I already said it once but I'll say it again, thank you sooooo much for your support and kindness, it really truly meant a lot to me. You guys are the best!

For Cheryl

Greg has discovered a way to give his wife a very, very wonderful tribute at California Hammonds, although from everything I see the entire site is a wonderful tribute to her. Sam first called my attention to this site last week and I am just now getting the chance to check it out and this was the first post I read. Please go by and check it out and don't forget to visit and comment tomorrow!

Saturday

We drove up to Pismo Beach to see my good friend that I grew up with. She's married now, and has a 2 year old little girl and a baby boy on the way. We've been out here 4 months now and only saw her on the way out here, so it was about time and I talked to her earlier this week and she sounded a little depressed. It was time. We packed up our stuff Saturday morning, not knowing if it was going to be a day trip or an overnight trip and headed out.

The drive up was rainy but smooth, and we had the second of our discussions - the first was the evening before after the boys were in bed. We figured out some of the logistics of how we argue and how it becomes heated instead of a mature discussion and how we might avoid that in the future, all the while witn me taking "breaks" so I didn't get upset.

We arrived much later than planned due to a late start but still in plenty of time for a day of fun. The boys were ready for some romping and fortunently their adopted Auntie took that into consideration when she planned lunch and took us to Round Table Pizza, complete with arcade, tickets and all. After an enjoyable afternoon we went back to their home and the guys crashed at the house and us girls went shopping at the outlets for baby. I bought Baby Boy an adorable little set from Carter's for his very first few weeks with bright yellow duckies all over it, some fudge for Hubby because he was so sweet keeping both boys at the house and an apple pie caramel apple for her and I. Little Girl liked the apple, but not the caramel and white chocolate on it.

We dropped by Von's to get groceries for tacos and of course got Starbucks before we set out. Back at home, she made the best tacos I've ever eaten, the tortillas cooked in oil, then filled with the meat and put on a grill to fry both sides, then filled with tomatoes, avocadoes, onion, ranch sour cream, lettuce, and sharp cheddar cheese. A recipe learned from her hubby's family, I'll be making my tacos that way from now on.

Dinner finished at 8:30pm and we decided to stay the evening, it was dark and wet and rainy and it was a 3 hour drive home so we put Big Guy to bed and her hubby put Little Girl to bed and the 3 of us and Little Guy sat on the fold out sofa bed, ate ice cream and watched an episode of Smallville, one of the greatest shows ever, but that will be for another post.

Today

Somehow the weekend wrapped up into a very enjoyable, relaxing time for us all. And was I ever glad we were gone this weekend when I came home and found out my sister has moved out with her kids and is living in a studio behind her Mom's friends house. She served him divorce papers on New Years Eve and found out this last weekend her husband has been doing multiple kinds of drugs, besides just the marijuana she knew about, and had enough. She has a good friend, the one whose Mom's house she is living at, who helped her through the drama of it all, and my parents are in support of her, which is a good thing. My Dad realized her husband had a problem when he went over there on Christmas Day and he was all drugged out on the couch. I still sit back and hope the best for her, I don't want to get involved because she is always changing her mind although she says this is it. I don't want my energy drained, I need that for my own family. I believe there's a chain reaction in everything, and though I don't know if he ever was a good guy to begin with I know that the situations they have been in together and have created haven't helped either of them. I am hoping this will, or something.

On a lighter note... how is it I always say that after thinking about my sister? My parents are home from Hawaii, they left last Monday for a partial business trip there and got back today. They had a great time and brought the kids a few little things, just enough to have a present but not get all crazy. Hubby and I are thinking we want to take the kids to Hawaii sometime here soon. That or Paris. Hawaii is just a tad more kid oriented though.

Friday

It's been raining for weeks now. The entire new year. Rain, rain, and more rain. Friday a storm came in, a very windy, rainy storm. We drove by the ocean on our way to a store and it was so frothy and stormy and there were so many waves, I couldn't help but get the boys out and stop and see it after we finished our errand. We stayed out there for about half an hour, alternatively watching the sea, petting the adorable Labradoodle next to us, and watching the news crew set up for their 5 o'clock news. And listening to the crazy group of people next to us screaming because they thought they were going to be on TV. Fortunently they went away after a little while when they realized they weren't and peace resumed. As peaceful as a stormy, raging beautiful sea can be.

That evening Hubby took us on a date. We went by Pizza My Heart and got pizza and salad to take down to Neptune's Kingdom and mini golfed the night away. The boys loved it and even more so when they got to play video games afterwards.

Sunday

Hubby woke up to Little Girl seeing him sleeping lying in bed and saying very very cutely, "Wake UuuPP!!" His response? "NooOO!" Of course she didn't give up and promptly climbed up on him. Breakfast was delicious scrambled eggs and bacon and then the kids, hubby, good friend and I browsed the mall and ate at In N Out. Not too much to do, but very nice just spending time with her and Little Girl, as well as Hubby and the kids. About 2pm we said good-bye and headed home.

That evening we met up with a friend of Hubby's at Kianti's. It was the first time we have gotten together with any of Hubby's friends since we've been here, and it was very nice. His girlfriend was there, and it was only the second time I met her. They came over to check out our place afterwards. Can anybody tell me what it means when the girl stays in the kid's room the whole time? This is the second time this has happened with having couples over to our house, the first time we had our neighbors in our first apartment we had when we got married and this being the second. Both times I couldn't figure it out. It seems, before and after, that both girls were kind of snooty. Am I just completely reading them wrong or what?

It was a great evening, and I know Hubby was very glad to be able have a nice time with his old friends and his whole family.

Sunrise

Thank you all for your sweet kind comments over the weekend. I am going to read and get through them all in between accounting for our wonderful relaxing, peaceful, and fun weekend. It was a perfectly splendid weekend and thank the Lord Hubby and I somewhere somehow got on the same page again. A few rather long discussions helped. And surprisingly none of them were heated!

Flooded

I know I just overflooded my site with posts now that I'm back. They are mostly for my memory of this weekend so though I would love for you to, don't feel like you have to read them all. I already said it once but I'll say it again, thank you sooooo much for your support and kindness, it really truly meant a lot to me. You guys are the best!

For Cheryl

Greg has discovered a way to give his wife a very, very wonderful tribute at California Hammonds, although from everything I see the entire site is a wonderful tribute to her. Sam first called my attention to this site last week and I am just now getting the chance to check it out and this was the first post I read. Please go by and check it out and don't forget to visit and comment tomorrow!

Saturday

We drove up to Pismo Beach to see my good friend that I grew up with. She's married now, and has a 2 year old little girl and a baby boy on the way. We've been out here 4 months now and only saw her on the way out here, so it was about time and I talked to her earlier this week and she sounded a little depressed. It was time. We packed up our stuff Saturday morning, not knowing if it was going to be a day trip or an overnight trip and headed out.

The drive up was rainy but smooth, and we had the second of our discussions - the first was the evening before after the boys were in bed. We figured out some of the logistics of how we argue and how it becomes heated instead of a mature discussion and how we might avoid that in the future, all the while witn me taking "breaks" so I didn't get upset.

We arrived much later than planned due to a late start but still in plenty of time for a day of fun. The boys were ready for some romping and fortunently their adopted Auntie took that into consideration when she planned lunch and took us to Round Table Pizza, complete with arcade, tickets and all. After an enjoyable afternoon we went back to their home and the guys crashed at the house and us girls went shopping at the outlets for baby. I bought Baby Boy an adorable little set from Carter's for his very first few weeks with bright yellow duckies all over it, some fudge for Hubby because he was so sweet keeping both boys at the house and an apple pie caramel apple for her and I. Little Girl liked the apple, but not the caramel and white chocolate on it.

We dropped by Von's to get groceries for tacos and of course got Starbucks before we set out. Back at home, she made the best tacos I've ever eaten, the tortillas cooked in oil, then filled with the meat and put on a grill to fry both sides, then filled with tomatoes, avocadoes, onion, ranch sour cream, lettuce, and sharp cheddar cheese. A recipe learned from her hubby's family, I'll be making my tacos that way from now on.

Dinner finished at 8:30pm and we decided to stay the evening, it was dark and wet and rainy and it was a 3 hour drive home so we put Big Guy to bed and her hubby put Little Girl to bed and the 3 of us and Little Guy sat on the fold out sofa bed, ate ice cream and watched an episode of Smallville, one of the greatest shows ever, but that will be for another post.

Today

Somehow the weekend wrapped up into a very enjoyable, relaxing time for us all. And was I ever glad we were gone this weekend when I came home and found out my sister has moved out with her kids and is living in a studio behind her Mom's friends house. She served him divorce papers on New Years Eve and found out this last weekend her husband has been doing multiple kinds of drugs, besides just the marijuana she knew about, and had enough. She has a good friend, the one whose Mom's house she is living at, who helped her through the drama of it all, and my parents are in support of her, which is a good thing. My Dad realized her husband had a problem when he went over there on Christmas Day and he was all drugged out on the couch. I still sit back and hope the best for her, I don't want to get involved because she is always changing her mind although she says this is it. I don't want my energy drained, I need that for my own family. I believe there's a chain reaction in everything, and though I don't know if he ever was a good guy to begin with I know that the situations they have been in together and have created haven't helped either of them. I am hoping this will, or something.

On a lighter note... how is it I always say that after thinking about my sister? My parents are home from Hawaii, they left last Monday for a partial business trip there and got back today. They had a great time and brought the kids a few little things, just enough to have a present but not get all crazy. Hubby and I are thinking we want to take the kids to Hawaii sometime here soon. That or Paris. Hawaii is just a tad more kid oriented though.

Friday

It's been raining for weeks now. The entire new year. Rain, rain, and more rain. Friday a storm came in, a very windy, rainy storm. We drove by the ocean on our way to a store and it was so frothy and stormy and there were so many waves, I couldn't help but get the boys out and stop and see it after we finished our errand. We stayed out there for about half an hour, alternatively watching the sea, petting the adorable Labradoodle next to us, and watching the news crew set up for their 5 o'clock news. And listening to the crazy group of people next to us screaming because they thought they were going to be on TV. Fortunently they went away after a little while when they realized they weren't and peace resumed. As peaceful as a stormy, raging beautiful sea can be.

That evening Hubby took us on a date. We went by Pizza My Heart and got pizza and salad to take down to Neptune's Kingdom and mini golfed the night away. The boys loved it and even more so when they got to play video games afterwards.

Sunday

Hubby woke up to Little Girl seeing him sleeping lying in bed and saying very very cutely, "Wake UuuPP!!" His response? "NooOO!" Of course she didn't give up and promptly climbed up on him. Breakfast was delicious scrambled eggs and bacon and then the kids, hubby, good friend and I browsed the mall and ate at In N Out. Not too much to do, but very nice just spending time with her and Little Girl, as well as Hubby and the kids. About 2pm we said good-bye and headed home.

That evening we met up with a friend of Hubby's at Kianti's. It was the first time we have gotten together with any of Hubby's friends since we've been here, and it was very nice. His girlfriend was there, and it was only the second time I met her. They came over to check out our place afterwards. Can anybody tell me what it means when the girl stays in the kid's room the whole time? This is the second time this has happened with having couples over to our house, the first time we had our neighbors in our first apartment we had when we got married and this being the second. Both times I couldn't figure it out. It seems, before and after, that both girls were kind of snooty. Am I just completely reading them wrong or what?

It was a great evening, and I know Hubby was very glad to be able have a nice time with his old friends and his whole family.

Sunrise

Thank you all for your sweet kind comments over the weekend. I am going to read and get through them all in between accounting for our wonderful relaxing, peaceful, and fun weekend. It was a perfectly splendid weekend and thank the Lord Hubby and I somewhere somehow got on the same page again. A few rather long discussions helped. And surprisingly none of them were heated!

I'm Here!

Just wanted to let you all know I am here! I haven't been able to do my daily routines, although I'm going to try and sneak some in right now even if I don't get a chance to comment. Thank to all my new visitors who left a comment, and even those who didn't. And all my regulars of course : ) . I will be by your site just as soon as possible, it's a crazy week and I'm going out of town today so I won't be getting any quality blog time til' Monday.

I'm Here!

Just wanted to let you all know I am here! I haven't been able to do my daily routines, although I'm going to try and sneak some in right now even if I don't get a chance to comment. Thank to all my new visitors who left a comment, and even those who didn't. And all my regulars of course : ) . I will be by your site just as soon as possible, it's a crazy week and I'm going out of town today so I won't be getting any quality blog time til' Monday.

Scared and a Little Bit Terrified

Not for me, for a friend. A friend that I left behind in Texas though we still stay in touch on the phone. I called her today after not having heard from her since right before Christmas. She has three little ones four and under and one on the way!! She keeps herself quite busy. Still it was strange to have not heard from her.

I found when I called her today she has been coming to grips with the fact that her second oldest may be autistic.

This child is an absolute sweetheart - he will come up to you with his arms outstretched for you to hold him at perfectly undesignated times. He is 2 days younger than my Little Guy and has always been slower. Not in his affection or love, or sweetness or babyness, but he never started talking, except for "...and beyond." whenever he would hear Buzz Lightyear say "To infinity...". He also carried Buzz and Woody around everywhere, and it didn't have to be a specific Buzz or Woody either, just any would do. When he came over to our house he would adopt our Buzz and Woody until he went home to his again.

She started taking him to speech therapy and he began to say a few words "1,2,3,go!", "Bye-bye", "Ok". In perfect English, but nothing revolutionary. The speech teachers aren't allowed to diagnose and she doesn't want to take him to a neurologist because she doesn't want him labeled. After awhile though, she asked them though she knew they couldn't diagnose if they could just give her their opinion, had they ever seen a child like that that wasn't autistic? They said no, they hadn't. That or PDD (Persuasive Development Disorder), which is just a lesser form.

My heart aches for her, her sense of motherhood, her sense of being able to do anything for him. She's a very strong woman. Who else could handle 3 kids under 4 and one on the way and still be sane, and wonderful at the same time?

She is researching her heart out on the internet to find something to help him. She has found that autistic children don't process protein normally. The way they do process it, it ends up in their bloodstream sending opates to their brain. It is as if the child is drugged out the whole time. She said they do autopsies on older autistic people and they say that their brain is formed differently. Don't you think your brain would form differently if it was being fed drugs 24/7?

She has found a special diet that is helpful to autistic children, one that is calcium and gluten free. She has talked to someone in her town who has a child that also showed autistic tendencies. They put him on this diet for 6 months and the people at his school can't even tell he's autistic. The parents can, because they know what they've been through, but others can't.

Finding gluten and calcium free foods that are enjoyable for a child to eat has been difficult and the most stressful for her right now. So far he's doing really well on some - gluten free waffles, gluten free spaghetti noodles, plain tomato sauce, and deer meat. I can see that it breaks her heart to have to feed him such tasteless foods, even if he is enjoying them.

Another thing she has found is that a lot of people believe their children became autistic from vaccines. She said that 1 in every 165 children is autistic. Isn't that statistic a little high? Her children have all been vaccinated and she is starting to wonder herself. She wonders if maybe there is something in their blood that reacts with the vaccines.

My heart goes out to her, and I feel scared, and terrified, and very, very proud of her for how she's handling everything all at the same time. I am sad I am not near her so I could support her in every way possible. For now being an ear to listen will have to do. Please keep her, and her son, and her family in your prayers.

I don't know how long I will keep this post up because this is not a public blog in my own life and I feel strange writing about friends without their knowledge. But you guys have become my support, after my Savior, my Hubby and my family, and I wanted to share it with you so that you know what is going on in my heart. Also so that you could send your best wishes her way and keep her in your thoughts, because I know that she will feel it, no matter how modest it may be.